This guy is brilliant! (seriously)
Heat Wave
Recently we had a heat wave in California. My air conditioner broke because, I assume, it is not designed to operate in hot weather. That was the bad news. The good news is that I solved the problems in the Middle East. Allow me to explain.
During the several days that it was 112 degrees and I had no AC, all I wanted to do was build an IED and kill the AC guy who kept driving right past my office and helping other people. In fact, I wanted to kill everyone who didn’t agree with me on just about any point whatsoever.
And I realized that the problem with the Middle East is insufficient AC. If you think about it, virtually all of the organized violence in the world is originating from places where they have poor air conditioning. And in the desert, 112 degrees is considered a pleasant day. Imagine how grumpy you would be at 125 degrees. And guess what I never see on TV when they show footage of the Middle East?
Shade.
Every frickin’ person they interview in the Middle East is standing directly in the sun. Some shade would be a good step toward world peace.
When it’s 125 degrees outside, given the choice of sitting inside a one-room hovel with seventeen unwashed relatives versus launching rockets at Israel, the terrorist option starts looking mighty appealing. Because you know what else I never see on TV when they show footage of the Middle East?
Hobbies.
And I understand that. Most hobbies involve one of these things:
1. Glue (it would melt)
2. Spending money (they don’t have any)
3. Being outside (it’s 125 degrees)
At room temperature, you could never convince me to strap explosives to my body and walk into a crowded hotel lobby. But at 125 degrees, I’d welcome the change of pace.
Just out of curiosity, I would love to see a graph showing a comparison of temperature and terror/civil unrest. I’ll bet it’s a strong correlation.
The Swiss think they are all superior because they stay out of wars. I think they’re just lucky that they’re freezing their chocolate covered nuts.
Heat Wave
Recently we had a heat wave in California. My air conditioner broke because, I assume, it is not designed to operate in hot weather. That was the bad news. The good news is that I solved the problems in the Middle East. Allow me to explain.
During the several days that it was 112 degrees and I had no AC, all I wanted to do was build an IED and kill the AC guy who kept driving right past my office and helping other people. In fact, I wanted to kill everyone who didn’t agree with me on just about any point whatsoever.
And I realized that the problem with the Middle East is insufficient AC. If you think about it, virtually all of the organized violence in the world is originating from places where they have poor air conditioning. And in the desert, 112 degrees is considered a pleasant day. Imagine how grumpy you would be at 125 degrees. And guess what I never see on TV when they show footage of the Middle East?
Shade.
Every frickin’ person they interview in the Middle East is standing directly in the sun. Some shade would be a good step toward world peace.
When it’s 125 degrees outside, given the choice of sitting inside a one-room hovel with seventeen unwashed relatives versus launching rockets at Israel, the terrorist option starts looking mighty appealing. Because you know what else I never see on TV when they show footage of the Middle East?
Hobbies.
And I understand that. Most hobbies involve one of these things:
1. Glue (it would melt)
2. Spending money (they don’t have any)
3. Being outside (it’s 125 degrees)
At room temperature, you could never convince me to strap explosives to my body and walk into a crowded hotel lobby. But at 125 degrees, I’d welcome the change of pace.
Just out of curiosity, I would love to see a graph showing a comparison of temperature and terror/civil unrest. I’ll bet it’s a strong correlation.
The Swiss think they are all superior because they stay out of wars. I think they’re just lucky that they’re freezing their chocolate covered nuts.
