Hello BF2s patrons! Today I want to share with you all, the Greatest Movie Ever Made In The History Of Mankind Ever. This movie is the only movie that can say, pound for pound, we have more kick ass shit than any other movie ever made. The acting, script, set, plot and just....EVERYTHING, is just so damned awesome I have an orgasm every time I see it because it's just that damn good. I will attempt to write a modest and un-biased review to enlighten those who have not experienced the joy that is this movie. The movie?
THE BIG LEBOWSKI
Yes, The Big Lebowski. A movie the transcends generations and enlightens all who see it. The movie will seriously rock your face so hard that you would think you're getting face fucked by a racehorse. The movie revolves around a guy named "Dude". Someone pissed on the Dude's rug and beat him up and that doesn't sit right with the Dude. Is the Dude going to beat some ass you say? No, he just wants his rug back. Dude has two friends, Donny and Walter whom we regularly goes bowling with. Donny is your normal meek guy who just wants to fit in and hang out with his friends. He also happens to be an exceptional bowler. Walter is an ex-military, ex-catholic-turned-Jewish, psychopath. The movie revolves around them doing nothing and people getting beat up. That's all you need to know before seeing the movie. Besides, revealing anymore of the plot would make Chuy's server explode because it wouldn't be able to handle the mass consumption of bandwidth due to the awesomeness contained in this one thread. Instead I will only highlight the more kickass parts of the movie and give some facts to back up my claim of it being the best movie EVER.
Why The Big Lebowski Is The Best Movie Ever Made
1. The Main characters name is "Dude". How badass is that? He doesn't even need a name, just "Dude".
2. Tara Reid plays a slutty ex-pornstar trophy wife. She also offers to give Dude a BJ for $100.
3. There is a Chinese guy named "Woo". Woo also pee's a Dude's rug, in his living room.
4. There is a perverted pedophile named Jesus who tell's Walter "If you pull that shit on me, I'll take that gun away, stick it up your ass, and pull the trigger till it goes 'click'. You don't fuck wit te Jesus!!" He's also Hispanic.
5. It has Steve Buschemi in it.
6. Dude and Walter try to pay a hostage ransom with dirty underwear.
7. Walter beats the shit out of a brand new Corvette with a baseball bat by mistake.
8. Dude's car gets beat up by a baseball bat by mistake.
9. Dude wrecks his car into a dumpster while drinking and driving, smoking a roach and listening to CCR.
10. A cop tells Dude that the people that stole his car, probably used it as a toilet before they ditched it.
11. Somebody lights Dude's car on fire.
12. They bowl, alot.
13. Walter nearly shoots a man in the face over a bowling foul.
14. There is a guy in an iron lung.
15. Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers is in it.
16. Flea gets hit in the balls with a bowling ball.
17. German thugs throw a ferret in a bathtub where Dude is taking a bath, then tell him they are coming back to "cut off your johnson".
18. Dude gets someone's cremated remains blown in his face.
19. Tara Reid starred in a porno called "Logjammin", co-starring "Karl Hungus".
20. There's a naked chick on a trampoline.
21. A cop hits Dude in the face with a coffee cup.
22. MPAA: Rated R for pervasive strong language, drug content, sexuality and brief violence.
23. Several hallucinogenic cut scenes.
24. Julianne Moore puts out in this movie. Again.
25. Sam Elliot plays a cowboy. Sam Elliot is awesome.
26. Dude receives a letter with a human toe in it. Walter then says "So? You need a toe, I can get a toe in 30 minutes. Painted green if you want even.".
27. It has Jeff Bridges in it and Jeff Bridges played in Tron. Tron rocked.
28. CCR is constantly playing in this movie.
29. Shut the fuck up Donny.
30. There is a guy named Jackie Treehorn. Jackie Treehorn is an awesome name.
The list really goes on and on and on. You MUST see this film. Now.
Did I mention Saddam Hussein works at the bowling alley?
THE BIG LEBOWSKI
Yes, The Big Lebowski. A movie the transcends generations and enlightens all who see it. The movie will seriously rock your face so hard that you would think you're getting face fucked by a racehorse. The movie revolves around a guy named "Dude". Someone pissed on the Dude's rug and beat him up and that doesn't sit right with the Dude. Is the Dude going to beat some ass you say? No, he just wants his rug back. Dude has two friends, Donny and Walter whom we regularly goes bowling with. Donny is your normal meek guy who just wants to fit in and hang out with his friends. He also happens to be an exceptional bowler. Walter is an ex-military, ex-catholic-turned-Jewish, psychopath. The movie revolves around them doing nothing and people getting beat up. That's all you need to know before seeing the movie. Besides, revealing anymore of the plot would make Chuy's server explode because it wouldn't be able to handle the mass consumption of bandwidth due to the awesomeness contained in this one thread. Instead I will only highlight the more kickass parts of the movie and give some facts to back up my claim of it being the best movie EVER.
Why The Big Lebowski Is The Best Movie Ever Made
1. The Main characters name is "Dude". How badass is that? He doesn't even need a name, just "Dude".
2. Tara Reid plays a slutty ex-pornstar trophy wife. She also offers to give Dude a BJ for $100.
3. There is a Chinese guy named "Woo". Woo also pee's a Dude's rug, in his living room.
4. There is a perverted pedophile named Jesus who tell's Walter "If you pull that shit on me, I'll take that gun away, stick it up your ass, and pull the trigger till it goes 'click'. You don't fuck wit te Jesus!!" He's also Hispanic.
5. It has Steve Buschemi in it.
6. Dude and Walter try to pay a hostage ransom with dirty underwear.
7. Walter beats the shit out of a brand new Corvette with a baseball bat by mistake.
8. Dude's car gets beat up by a baseball bat by mistake.
9. Dude wrecks his car into a dumpster while drinking and driving, smoking a roach and listening to CCR.
10. A cop tells Dude that the people that stole his car, probably used it as a toilet before they ditched it.
11. Somebody lights Dude's car on fire.
12. They bowl, alot.
13. Walter nearly shoots a man in the face over a bowling foul.
14. There is a guy in an iron lung.
15. Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers is in it.
16. Flea gets hit in the balls with a bowling ball.
17. German thugs throw a ferret in a bathtub where Dude is taking a bath, then tell him they are coming back to "cut off your johnson".
18. Dude gets someone's cremated remains blown in his face.
19. Tara Reid starred in a porno called "Logjammin", co-starring "Karl Hungus".
20. There's a naked chick on a trampoline.
21. A cop hits Dude in the face with a coffee cup.
22. MPAA: Rated R for pervasive strong language, drug content, sexuality and brief violence.
23. Several hallucinogenic cut scenes.
24. Julianne Moore puts out in this movie. Again.
25. Sam Elliot plays a cowboy. Sam Elliot is awesome.
26. Dude receives a letter with a human toe in it. Walter then says "So? You need a toe, I can get a toe in 30 minutes. Painted green if you want even.".
27. It has Jeff Bridges in it and Jeff Bridges played in Tron. Tron rocked.
28. CCR is constantly playing in this movie.
29. Shut the fuck up Donny.
30. There is a guy named Jackie Treehorn. Jackie Treehorn is an awesome name.
The list really goes on and on and on. You MUST see this film. Now.
Did I mention Saddam Hussein works at the bowling alley?
Last edited by Cougar (2006-07-11 16:30:10)
