alpha would like that
I disagree Bruce Lee is the Ninja Master And Chuck Is but a Pawn On the Chess Bored He has no skills when It comes to the Bruce Man Newbiecyborg_ninja-117 wrote:
chuck is the ninja master u n00bacidkiller187 wrote:
No your lying cause he saw the Chuck man on the other side and wanted to open up a can of whipass And he did he kicked the shit out of him Love those Ninjas LOL [and cause everyone on his side was dead ]cyborg_ninja-117 wrote:
y did they ninja cross the road?
coz he wanted to flip out and kill every1 on the otherside since on his side every1 is dead
FTW! u speak the truthacidkiller187 wrote:
I disagree Bruce Lee is the Ninja Master And Chuck Is but a Pawn On the Chess Bored He has no skills when It comes to the Bruce Man Newbiecyborg_ninja-117 wrote:
chuck is the ninja master u n00bacidkiller187 wrote:
No your lying cause he saw the Chuck man on the other side and wanted to open up a can of whipass And he did he kicked the shit out of him Love those Ninjas LOL [and cause everyone on his side was dead ]
This lady is giving birth in the hospital and the doctor delivering the baby delivers it, cuts the umbilical cord, and then throws the baby really hard against the wall. The mother and father start freaking out when the doctor picks up the baby by its leg and slams it against the wall again. Then he picks up what's left of the baby, smiles at the devastated parents and says "I'm just mess'n with you, it was already dead..."
Oh...you laughed didn't you? You sick bastard!
(I laughed too)...
Oh...you laughed didn't you? You sick bastard!
(I laughed too)...
u sick bastard marc! alpha should temp ban joo lol
hahahaha i edited the tits... see... now cyborg is still my bitch!
Will you guys keep this a joke thread and stop messing around? Sheesh...
dont u get the joke?Marconius wrote:
Will you guys keep this a joke thread and stop messing around? Sheesh...
haahhaha bite me
2 gold fish in a tank 1 goes to the other how the f**k do you drive this thing. LOL
THE GOOD, BAD AND UGLY
Good : Your wife is pregnant.
Bad : It's triplets.
Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.
Good : Your wife's not talking to you
Bad : She wants a divorce.
Ugly : She's a lawyer.
Good : Your son is finally maturing.
Bad : He's involved with the women next door.
Ugly : So are you.
Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly : You're in them.
Good : Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad : You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.
Good : Your husband understands fashion.
Bad : He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly : He looks better than you.
Good : You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad : She keeps interrupting.
Ugly : With corrections
Good : Your son is dating someone new.
Bad : It's another man.
Ugly : He's your best friend.
Good : Your daughter got a new job.
Bad : As a hooker.
Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way ugly : She makes more money than you do.
Good : Your wife is pregnant.
Bad : It's triplets.
Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.
Good : Your wife's not talking to you
Bad : She wants a divorce.
Ugly : She's a lawyer.
Good : Your son is finally maturing.
Bad : He's involved with the women next door.
Ugly : So are you.
Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly : You're in them.
Good : Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad : You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.
Good : Your husband understands fashion.
Bad : He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly : He looks better than you.
Good : You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad : She keeps interrupting.
Ugly : With corrections
Good : Your son is dating someone new.
Bad : It's another man.
Ugly : He's your best friend.
Good : Your daughter got a new job.
Bad : As a hooker.
Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way ugly : She makes more money than you do.
I lawledPug wrote:
A man brings his son to the circus. They sit on the far left side near the aisle. The lights come on, the elephants walk out, the monkeys dance, and the clowns come out of their funny car. The clowns begin to pander to the crowd, doing tricks. One clown with big red feet and a green nose sees the man and his son and decides to include the man in his act.
Clown to Man: Are you an elephant?
Man: No
Clown: Are you a lion?
Man: No
Clown: Then you must be a jackass.
The crowd howls. The man is embarassed. His son is obviously upset. So they leave.
He spends all night dwelling on this issue - a simple clown has proved he is less than a man. So in the morning, he tells his wife he is quitting his job and going back to college. He doubles up on classes by taking night classes. He studies the classics. In the process he decides his major. Due to hard work he graduates in three years instead of four.
He is truly gifted in his major, and decides to go on to get his doctorate. He studies hard. He even writes his thesis on a personal topic "How to Deliver a Snappy Comeback to a Clown". So he graduates with honors with a PhD in Snappy Comebacks.
He then begins a second career, speaking at conventions around the world, and writes a book on Snappy Comebacks which sells well enough to be translated into 16 different languages. He is successful enough that he actually directs the new Broadway Play - "Comebacks - The Play".
He returns home after a dress rehearsal and talks to his family about his success. His son, now graduated from college tells him that there's a circus in town. Believe it or not its the same one which started this whole affair. So the man asks his son if he wants to go check it out, and they get tickets.
So they go back to the circus. They sit on the far left side near the aisle. The lights come on, the elephants walk out, the monkeys dance, and the clowns come out of their funny car. The clowns begin to pander to the crowd, doing tricks. Then one clown with big red feet and a green nose sees the man and his son - he recognizes him instantly and decides to include the man in his act.
Clown to Man: Are you an elephant?
Man: No
Clown: Are you a lion?
Man: No
Clown: Then you must be a jackass.
The crowd laughs. The man nudges his son - "Watch this."
"Hey fuck you Clown"
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
That's not a joke, thats a quote from Full Metal Jacket, said by the gunner in the chopper as Joker and Raptorman are going into the combat zone.JOJOBA wrote:
how do you shoot women and children??
easy, just dont lead em' as much!
These are great! Keep 'em coming!
hahahahha! omg! hahaha! roflcakes!Marconius wrote:
This lady is giving birth in the hospital and the doctor delivering the baby delivers it, cuts the umbilical cord, and then throws the baby really hard against the wall. The mother and father start freaking out when the doctor picks up the baby by its leg and slams it against the wall again. Then he picks up what's left of the baby, smiles at the devastated parents and says "I'm just mess'n with you, it was already dead..."
Oh...you laughed didn't you? You sick bastard!
(I laughed too)...
another nice one marco! keep up the good work, soldier! lol
One of my personal favorites:
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel sticking out of his pants zipper. He sits at the bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a pint and asks, "Hey, why do you have a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate responds, "Yarr, I dunno, but it's drivin' me nuts!"
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel sticking out of his pants zipper. He sits at the bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a pint and asks, "Hey, why do you have a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate responds, "Yarr, I dunno, but it's drivin' me nuts!"
ha. ha. ha.
Where did Hitler keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
In his sleevies.
A man had just purchased a monkey and it started smelling real bad so he decided to take it for a bath.
As he was lowering the monkey in the water the monkey went " oo ahh ahh ahh ahh" (as mokeys do) and the man said
"sorry monkey is the water too hot" !!!!!!!!!!!!
As he was lowering the monkey in the water the monkey went " oo ahh ahh ahh ahh" (as mokeys do) and the man said
"sorry monkey is the water too hot" !!!!!!!!!!!!
whats blue and trickles from a tree? - smurf cum
do you want to hear a really dirty joke.....................................................................................
.............................................................................................................................................
......A man fell in sum mud!!!! ba bum bum tucsh!!!
lolz
its so poor i no
.............................................................................................................................................
......A man fell in sum mud!!!! ba bum bum tucsh!!!
lolz
its so poor i no
messmess, you could at least tell it right!
Wanna hear a dirty joke?
A boy fell in the mud.
Wanna hear a clean joke?
He took a shower!
Wanna hear a dirty joke?
A boy fell in the mud.
Wanna hear a clean joke?
He took a shower!
or this version -
Want to hear a dirty joke?
A boy fell in the mud
Want to hear a clean joke?
He took a bath with bubbles.
Want to hear another dirty joke?
Bubbles was the name of the girl next door.
Want to hear a dirty joke?
A boy fell in the mud
Want to hear a clean joke?
He took a bath with bubbles.
Want to hear another dirty joke?
Bubbles was the name of the girl next door.
Two muffins are in the oven. The one on the left looks at the one on the right and says 'It's hotter than hell in here!"
The second muffin replies 'Holy shit! A talking muffin!'
The second muffin replies 'Holy shit! A talking muffin!'