Asian Female Appreciation Thread #7

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Asian Female Appreciation Thread #7

2022-04-26 10:23:11

#226

DesertFox-: The very model of a modern major general; +796|6899|United States of America

SuperJail Warden wrote:
My girlfriend likes Forensic Files and the First 48. When I invited her to my place for the first time she scratched my arm with her finger "so I will have your DNA under my fingernails in case I don't come back "

What a lady. I wonder if I she will enjoy watching people get blown up and we can share that as a thing.

Last edited by DesertFox- (2022-04-26 10:23:17)

2022-04-27 13:30:20

#227

SuperJail Warden: Gone Forever; +640|3934

I got back into volunteering, accomplishing things, and doing other stuff so that I have things to show that I am an interesting person instead of somebody that plays video games, curates a porn collection, and watches death.

My girlfriend makes me want to be a better man.

Edit: it is actually really exhausting.

Last edited by SuperJail Warden (2022-04-27 13:31:42)

2022-05-03 07:44:46

#228

SuperJail Warden: Gone Forever; +640|3934

So we went out for my birthday on Saturday. We had dinner at a nice restaurant. I got her flowers too.

The night went well except for the end in which we had a mini argument? It all started with the story about the students smoking pot in the bathroom. I told her the story that afternoon (we met that night) and she spent like 2 to 3 hours deconstructing how I could have handled it better. The girl likes talking and talking about feelings and it is frankly a lot. I like talking too but can we talk about movies, books, etc.? She spent her whole adulthood as a manager and the conversation felt I was getting chewed out by supervisors. "How could you have handled the situation better" "you basically gave up" "you shouldn't have committed half way" "I would have used the moment as a teaching moment". She tutors adults on English for business on the side so she considers herself a teacher and thinks highly of the whole thing. I try to explain to her that there is a major difference between tutoring online and being in a building with children. But it is futile and I am frankly not one to argue in real life. Other things she said to me over an otherwise fine dinner was "you are judgemental" and "you are pessimistic". This is all in relation to the kids smoking pot since she feels I "gave up on them" and "how can you assume X about them based on one incident?"

I know I am not a perfect person. I will admit to being pessimistic and judgmental but all of these comments by her stemmed from one mention of the kids smoking pot. I otherwise know how to keep conversations light and friendly in real life. You may not believe me but I am a very outwardly friendly and upbeat person. Especially when dealing with women. I know how to not scare them off. But we spent hours on this one incident.

During the dinner hearing this deconstruction of myself was exhausting. She said at one point I "looked small" and eventually tired. I was really worn down by the conversation, her analysis of the situation, my deconstruction, her feelings and thoughts on education. I was genuinely exhausted. I must have said "I don't know what you want me to say about this situation" half a dozen times.

I drove her home and she kept talking about the incident and other stuff that eventually circled back to the pot kids. We tried talking again after I pulled up to her home and I think it finally dawned on her how annoyed and exhausted I was by all of it since she looked genuinely worried and sad when I guess I couldn't keep up the cheerfulness. I told her I was happy with my life and who I am. That I am at peace with the world. And that I don't want to be deconstructed like that. I told her the whole conversation was too much. She said "you could have redirected the conversation" and I said I tried. She apologized for the night "not turning out the way you had hoped" and left.

I went home, got high, and went out to the bar. Got stoned and felt bad and text her. I apologized for being dour even though I don't think I was wrong for getting exhausted about how the conversation went. She text me back Saturday night

I really love the flowers, thank you so much again. I also love getting to know you. Sincerely. Thank you for being honest about how you feel and I hear you. I'm going to take some time to process everything.

I tried texting her happy messages Sunday and Monday and didn't get a response back. I guess I just need to wait a few days to see what she does next. But I did apologize. I am not too big to apologize.

Her dating profile says she is "sassy and a little smart-assy". She mentioned her mom and some friends politely criticizing how she talks to people. I think she talks to people like she is their manager trying to teach them a lesson. I think one reason she latched onto me is because I am willing to listen to her for hours and go in circles of deconstruction to the point where I got exhausted by all of it Saturday. Other guys aren't willing to do that much talking or being put through that sort of evaluation? She mentioned she had only been with 2 to 3 other guys in her life.

Please let me know what you think. I genuinely am open to hearing that I am stupid or fucked up. I know I am not a perfect person. I am not up my own ass.

I don't consider it a major loss if she wants to stop seeing me FWIW.

2022-05-03 08:35:23

#229

uziq: Member; +493|3667

lol hahaha. happy birthday.

2022-05-03 09:23:46

#230

SuperJail Warden: Gone Forever; +640|3934

You aren't helping

2022-05-03 10:04:51

#231

uziq: Member; +493|3667

i did tell you that it’s a very elementary mistake to make a person your ‘girlfriend’ after you met them and saw them naked once. ’

2022-05-03 10:37:54

#232

SuperJail Warden: Gone Forever; +640|3934

Mistakes were made. I really like her even if she would like to speak to my manager. How long should I wait until haunting Facebook dating again?

2022-05-03 11:42:26

#233

unnamednewbie13: Moderator; +2,053|6986|PNW

Winked out like a comet.

Anyway, I still support you on your pot story. It sounds like your colleague supported you too, #realitiesofthejob or whatever. I would have been more concerned if they were drinking hard liquor in the restroom. Are a bunch of stoners likely to start a giant cafeteria brawl? The only thing they're wrecking is your stock of chocolate milk.

You should watch Ghostbusters: Afterlife. There was a summer school science teacher who would just put on zombie movies for his students and then go work on other stuff in another room. You'd totally identify.

Don't skip a beat. You're an eligible, mature man-teacher with an apartment sandwiched between dentists' offices. For fun times, pose your Gundam in a compromising position.

Last edited by unnamednewbie13 (2022-05-03 11:44:50)

2022-05-03 11:55:35

#234

SuperJail Warden: Gone Forever; +640|3934

I text her again just now. That's that last text I am sending and if she doesn't respond back I am going to start back up on FB dating.

2022-05-04 01:36:13

#235

uziq: Member; +493|3667

it's week 2 and she's giving you multiple-day time-outs. is this really a person you want to be with in the long-term? it does not sound fun. dating in the early honeymoon stages is supposed to be FUN. sweetness and light. laughter and rollicking through the streets at night. making out in the rain. you know, romantic stuff.

getting harangued for 4 hours at your birthday meal and then put in the naughty corner for 3 days sounds dire. this is not girlfriend material.

2022-05-04 03:32:49

#236

Dilbert_X: The X stands for; +1,813|6321|eXtreme to the maX

On the plus side she seems interested in you

On the minus she's nuts

Fuck Israel

2022-05-04 04:20:42

#237

uziq: Member; +493|3667

i would generalize terribly and say that in some cultures, it is known that a wife-figure nagging you is a sign of showing care and concern. it's not uncommon in east asian societies for someone to say 'you look like shit today' and to genuinely mean well by it, viz. 'take better care of yourself, we're concerned about you', etc.

but seeing as you've already mentioned that her own parents know that her unsolicited guidance-giving is a problem, i'm not even going to try and apply some shoddy gimcrack gross generalisation to this situation. it sounds like she lacks a universal human quality in social settings: tact and discretion.

2022-05-04 11:54:43

#238

unnamednewbie13: Moderator; +2,053|6986|PNW

In some other topic where this came up I think I mentioned that I've explained this to a few Americans who received this sort of comment from a foreign friend or relative. Generally was enough to mollify.

But from someone who is a tutor for communications or whatever here, yeah probably less because she cares.

2022-05-04 18:12:40

#239

Dauntless: Admin; +2,249|6957|London

SuperJail Warden wrote:
So we went out for my birthday on Saturday. We had dinner at a nice restaurant. I got her flowers too.

The night went well except for the end in which we had a mini argument? It all started with the story about the students smoking pot in the bathroom. I told her the story that afternoon (we met that night) and she spent like 2 to 3 hours deconstructing how I could have handled it better. The girl likes talking and talking about feelings and it is frankly a lot. I like talking too but can we talk about movies, books, etc.? She spent her whole adulthood as a manager and the conversation felt I was getting chewed out by supervisors. "How could you have handled the situation better" "you basically gave up" "you shouldn't have committed half way" "I would have used the moment as a teaching moment". She tutors adults on English for business on the side so she considers herself a teacher and thinks highly of the whole thing. I try to explain to her that there is a major difference between tutoring online and being in a building with children. But it is futile and I am frankly not one to argue in real life. Other things she said to me over an otherwise fine dinner was "you are judgemental" and "you are pessimistic". This is all in relation to the kids smoking pot since she feels I "gave up on them" and "how can you assume X about them based on one incident?"

I know I am not a perfect person. I will admit to being pessimistic and judgmental but all of these comments by her stemmed from one mention of the kids smoking pot. I otherwise know how to keep conversations light and friendly in real life. You may not believe me but I am a very outwardly friendly and upbeat person. Especially when dealing with women. I know how to not scare them off. But we spent hours on this one incident.

During the dinner hearing this deconstruction of myself was exhausting. She said at one point I "looked small" and eventually tired. I was really worn down by the conversation, her analysis of the situation, my deconstruction, her feelings and thoughts on education. I was genuinely exhausted. I must have said "I don't know what you want me to say about this situation" half a dozen times.

I drove her home and she kept talking about the incident and other stuff that eventually circled back to the pot kids. We tried talking again after I pulled up to her home and I think it finally dawned on her how annoyed and exhausted I was by all of it since she looked genuinely worried and sad when I guess I couldn't keep up the cheerfulness. I told her I was happy with my life and who I am. That I am at peace with the world. And that I don't want to be deconstructed like that. I told her the whole conversation was too much. She said "you could have redirected the conversation" and I said I tried. She apologized for the night "not turning out the way you had hoped" and left.

I went home, got high, and went out to the bar. Got stoned and felt bad and text her. I apologized for being dour even though I don't think I was wrong for getting exhausted about how the conversation went. She text me back Saturday night
I really love the flowers, thank you so much again. I also love getting to know you. Sincerely. Thank you for being honest about how you feel and I hear you. I'm going to take some time to process everything.
I tried texting her happy messages Sunday and Monday and didn't get a response back. I guess I just need to wait a few days to see what she does next. But I did apologize. I am not too big to apologize.

Her dating profile says she is "sassy and a little smart-assy". She mentioned her mom and some friends politely criticizing how she talks to people. I think she talks to people like she is their manager trying to teach them a lesson. I think one reason she latched onto me is because I am willing to listen to her for hours and go in circles of deconstruction to the point where I got exhausted by all of it Saturday. Other guys aren't willing to do that much talking or being put through that sort of evaluation? She mentioned she had only been with 2 to 3 other guys in her life.

Please let me know what you think. I genuinely am open to hearing that I am stupid or fucked up. I know I am not a perfect person. I am not up my own ass.

I don't consider it a major loss if she wants to stop seeing me FWIW.

I don't know what the student pot story was but good for you for sticking up for yourself (eventually). I wouldn't've apologised if it were me, doesn't sound like you did anything wrong really. She'd probably be apologising to you by now if you hadn't.

On the one hand maybe it was all just a misunderstanding from both of you which will work itself out as you get to know each other better, on the other (much more likely hand):

uziq wrote:
getting harangued for 4 hours at your birthday meal and then put in the naughty corner for 3 days sounds dire. this is not girlfriend material.

2022-05-04 18:20:32

#240

Dauntless: Admin; +2,249|6957|London

Actually, ignoring you for multiple days and a "I'm going to take some time to process everything" text over such a minor event so early on in the relationship is a massive red flag and you'd be better cutting your losses than spend more time on this. Sounds like she'll be in touch at some point though. It'll be more drama than it's worth.

2022-05-04 23:03:49