Macbeth
Banned
+2,444|5814

ITT post cool stories

So I went to my pot dealer the other day to make a pickup and he asked me to do a tune up on his car. So I changed his spark plugs. He didn't have any cash so he gave me a baggy of coke. I have never done coke before but I knew someone who did. This Polish girl (26) I went to high school with did coke and I wanted to do her. So the plan was to invite her over, coke her up, and have sex. So I invited her over.

She came over and did some blow and we had sex. After we finished having sex we still had blow so she said she will call over her younger sister (21) to finish the blow and go home with her. So I said fine whatever. So she calls her sister.

Her sister got dropped off half way done the block and I live on the corner. The sister has never been to my place so she didn't know what building I lived in. So she calls her sister and her sister described to her where I lived while I got up to unlock the door and get another beer. While I am at the fridge I hear my window open and I hear the coked out girl yelling. She was yelling out my window to get her sister's attention.

I don't live in the ghetto and am in a very quiet place. So I go over to tell her to stop screaming out of my window at 3AM. While I am walking over to her I see her fall out of my window.

Coke is an amazing drug and somehow made her not feel the 15 foot drop onto concrete because she was standing up as soon as I got over to the window. I went downstairs and she was with her sister. She had a small head cut that was bleeding into her blonde hair and some cuts over her arms and legs. So her sister wanted to take her to the hospital and I said fine. We take my car.

They sit in the back seat so her sister can be with her. The coked out chick starts to freak out and decide she doesn't want to go the hospital. So she starts trying to open the door of the car while it is moving. Her sister grabs het and they start wrestle in the back. I try to tell them to stop fighting while I am driving. All of the sudden I heard a bang and glass shatter. The coked out girl kicked out my driver side rear window.

So I pull over, open the back door, try to stop her from freaking out. I grab one of her legs while she is on her back. She takes the other leg cocks it back my bringing her knee to her chest and kicks me in the head right under my chin. My head snapped back and I fell down on my ass dazed. I get up a minute later and grab her legs again this time making sure to keep my head protected.

I am pulling her out of the car while she is screaming and holding onto to her sister. I get her out of the car and her sister gets out too. I go to drive off and I hear her yell something in polish ay me and see her throw something at my car in my corner vision.

Whatever she thew landed in my backseat through the broken window. I ignore it and keep driving until I hear vibrating and lady Gaga coming from the back seat. She had thrown her phone at my car and was calling it from her sister's phone.

I make it home. Take the coke and pot and bring it to my friends place in case she calls the police on me. I tape up my car window with a garbage bag and went to sleep.

This morning I returned the phone and she apologized and made it up to me.

That was my last night. Tell me yours or some other story.
Jay
Bork! Bork! Bork!
+2,006|5586|London, England
Tldr april fools etc
"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat
13/f/taiwan
Member
+940|5927
i hate april fools.
KEN-JENNINGS
I am all that is MOD!
+2,978|6860|949

I hope this is an april fools. If not, you've got some issues dude.
13urnzz
Banned
+5,830|6726

i went to the doctor today. because of years of abuse and genetics, i have 2% brain function. that, coupled with my Thalassemia has assured me that my last vice will kill me.

i would trade every drop of acid currently in my house if uzique would stop being an asshole to every member of this forum.
DesertFox-
The very model of a modern major general
+796|6913|United States of America
Gotta be a Fools joke. Polish girls aren't Asian.
-Whiteroom-
Pineapplewhat
+572|6887|BC, Canada
If he cant get a hooker to bang him for cash, he's not getting random hot blond to fuck him for coke.
Macbeth
Banned
+2,444|5814

I disagree. I am not totally deranged in real life. If you don't believe me then fine. But this isn't April fools.

Now post some stories.
Mutantbear
Semi Constructive Criticism
+1,431|6193|London, England

your pot dealer didnt have any cash?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________ https://i.imgur.com/Xj4f2.png
Macbeth
Banned
+2,444|5814

Only the $60 I gave him. I guess he needed it.
Uzique The Lesser
Banned
+382|4483
lol for fuck sake...
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,814|6334|eXtreme to the maX
He had me up to

Macbeth wrote:

I don't live in the ghetto
Fuck Israel
Cybargs
Moderated
+2,285|6945

DesertFox- wrote:

Gotta be a Fools joke. Polish girls aren't Asian.
pretty much what i thought.
https://cache.www.gametracker.com/server_info/203.46.105.23:21300/b_350_20_692108_381007_FFFFFF_000000.png
Uzique The Lesser
Banned
+382|4483

Cybargs wrote:

DesertFox- wrote:

Gotta be a Fools joke. Polish girls aren't Asian.
pretty much what i thought.
hey cybargs don't you have a cool story for us? about killing a girl in a car-crash whilst browsing bf2s on your mobile phone... from behind the wheel? please tell us more. you two can join up and regale one another with bullshit evasions.
Adams_BJ
Russian warship, go fuck yourself
+2,054|6851|Little Bentcock
I sat at work today.

Your thoughts, insights, and musings on this matter intrigue me
AussieReaper
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
+5,761|6381|what

https://i.imgur.com/Znw55Gq.png
https://i.imgur.com/maVpUMN.png
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|7000|PNW

New Cool Stories Bros Galaxy U
Uzique The Lesser
Banned
+382|4483
a coked up polish whore falling out of a window into a (supposedly) middle-class borough.

this is too much
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|7000|PNW

So this one guy was bitching to me on steam about how bad his new Nintendo was.

I was like "wii u mad?"

Still waiting for response.
M.O.A.B
'Light 'em up!'
+1,220|6451|Escea

I ended up in a dolphin show in Florida. Only went to the toilets.
DUnlimited
got any popo lolo intersting?
+1,160|6692|cuntshitlake

ITT macbeth trying too hard to be fancy_pollux
main battle tank karthus medikopter 117 megamegapowershot gg
Cybargs
Moderated
+2,285|6945

Uzique The Lesser wrote:

Cybargs wrote:

DesertFox- wrote:

Gotta be a Fools joke. Polish girls aren't Asian.
pretty much what i thought.
hey cybargs don't you have a cool story for us? about killing a girl in a car-crash whilst browsing bf2s on your mobile phone... from behind the wheel? please tell us more. you two can join up and regale one another with bullshit evasions.
shiiiiet thats some revisionist history
https://cache.www.gametracker.com/server_info/203.46.105.23:21300/b_350_20_692108_381007_FFFFFF_000000.png
AussieReaper
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
+5,761|6381|what

DUnlimited wrote:

ITT macbeth trying too hard to be fancy_pollux
IET Macbeth trying too hard
https://i.imgur.com/maVpUMN.png

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