Lady in labour, shouting the usual shit, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She turns to her boyfriend and says, "You did this to me, you fucker!" He casually replies, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse, but you said, 'fuck off it'll be too painful.'"
Q: What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded.
A: Not being retarded.
A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps. She gets sent off for some test and comes back a week later.
"Well, I hope you're ready for endless sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty nappies!" the doc says.
"Wow, you mean I'm pregnant?" the woman replies thrilled.
"No, you've got bowel cancer."
"Well, I hope you're ready for endless sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty nappies!" the doc says.
"Wow, you mean I'm pregnant?" the woman replies thrilled.
"No, you've got bowel cancer."
what's the worst part about eating a vegetable? putting her back in the wheelchair
What's the best thing about fucking twenty six year olds?
There are twenty of them.
There are twenty of them.
A smoking hot girl walks into a bar. A guy at the bar says, "Wow, you're gonna get laid tonight!" She replies, "Hehe, how do you know?" And he replies, "Because I'm stronger than you."
I'm going to go rob a bank tomorrow. I plan on dressing up in a clown wig and make up and only wearing a thong and nipple tassels. I'll carry a goat and a can of fluorescent paint in one arm and, while in the bank, I'm going to fuck the goat and throw the paint over the walls, all the time ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off. After getting the money, I'll take a shit on the floor and piss everywhere. I then will escape in a van shaped like a giant pink cock.
Let's see America's most wanted fucking stage a reconstruction of that.
Let's see America's most wanted fucking stage a reconstruction of that.
Good jokes.. but keep them to one post?
My wife being unhappy with my mood swings brought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood. We discovered that when I am in a good mood it turns green and when I am in a bad mood it leaves a big fucking red mark on her forehead
why did the chicken cross the road?
Spoiler (highlight to read):
to get to the other side
Spoiler (highlight to read):
to get to the other side
whats the difference between Jesus, and a picture of Jesus?
it only takes one nail to hang the picture
it only takes one nail to hang the picture
"I'm so environmentally friendly, I use recycle instead of deleting my files"
Your thoughts, insights, and musings on this matter intrigue me
We need to revive this thread!
What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
Blackstones?
cdailey2142 wrote:
Blackstones?
What's the answer?Roc18 wrote:
cdailey2142 wrote:
Blackstones?
cdailey2142 wrote:
What's the answer?Roc18 wrote:
cdailey2142 wrote:
Blackstones?
google it
Lauren Scruggs was really propelled to fame.
Basalt?
Edit: Never mind.
Edit: Never mind.
Last edited by User007Gamer (2011-12-14 09:49:55)
lolCameronPoe wrote:
...
Amy: 'Daddy, Daddy, what is that big purple snake thing there Daddy?'
Shocked Daddy: 'Er, that's my dick, dear!'
Amy: 'Daddy, Daddy, when do I get one of those, Daddy?'
Daddy: 'As soon as your mum goes to bingo!!!!!!'
Depraved.
What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?........................................................30 lbs