Pages: 1

 

2006-05-19 04:32:44
Starfleet1403
...to bodly spawn where no one has spawned before!
+66|6930|Born in West-Berlin
I know, there has been a thread for Servicemen to tell what branch, grade, etc. they were. I thought it'd be time for thread to post one's funniest or weirdest Experience. I'll start....

It was a sunny Sunday Afternoon on board FGS Lütjens, the last Guided-Missile Destroyer of the German Navy. Together with the German Replenisher FGS Berlin, the German Frigate Bremen and the french Frigate FS La Fayette we were en route to Reykjavik, Iceland. I had the Navigation Watch on the Bridge. Normally accompanied by another Crew mate trained in Navigation, I stood my Ground alone. It was supposed to be a quiet Day. No exercises, no nothing.
Until the Skipper got bored.
He came to the Bridge to inform the Officer of the Watch that we would conduct RAS (Replenishment at Sea) Approaches with the Berlin. He had arranged that on short Notice. The junior Officer came to the Bridge for each were to conduct one RAS Approach. After the last junior Officer finished his Approach, the CO came to me.

CO:"Mr. Marquardt, you have the Conn!" (Telling me to take Control of the Ship as Officer of the Watch)
Me:"I beg your Pardon, Sir?"
CO:"You have the Conn, Mr. Marquardt!"
Me:"Begging the Captain's Pardon again, may I remind you that I am just an E-5 and that I am currently the only Navigation Personnel on the Bridge?"
CO:"Mr. Marquardt, I might reconsider, if you can show me a Tree on our present Course within the next 30 Miles. Otherwise YOU HAVE THE CONN!"
Me:"Aye Sir. Attention Bridge, I have the Conn!"
Bridge Personnel"Mr. Marquardt has the Conn"
Helmsman:"Rudder steady at Course 025 True. Magnetic Course 029. Engines at Ahead Half rotating for 15 Knots!"
Me:"Aye. Rudder 15 Degrees Starboard. Engines Ahead Full Rotation for 25 Knots.
Helmsman:"Rudder 15 Degrees Starboard. Engines Ahead Full Rotation for 25 Knots. Aye. Engineering reporting Engines are rotating for 25 Knots"
Me:"Aye."
CO:"Mr. Marquardt, what is your Intention?"
Me:"My Intention, Sir, is to do a full Circle, let the Berlin pass us and approach them at their Starboard Quarter, Sir!
CO:"Alright, carry on."
Helmsman:"Heading passing 360 Degrees, Sir!
Me:"Aye. Make your Course 020 Degrees, Engine Ahead Full, Rotation for 18 Knots!"
Helmsman:"Making my Course 020 Degrees, Engine Ahead Full, Rotation for 18 Knots! Engineering reporting Engines are rotating for 18 Knots!"
Me:"Aye. Captain! My Intention now is to approach the Berlin with a Speed of 18 Knots. As soon as our Bow passes their Stern I'll drop Speed to RAS Speed of 12 Knots!
CO:"Very well!"

Honestly I was scared as Hell. I felt like I was just guessing you know? It was highly irregular, that a junior Officer was in Charge of all that, even with the CO by his Side. As we were finally in Position, I made minor course Corrections (within 1 Degree) to keep my Distance to the Berlin. I looked up to their Bridge Wing. I saw the Berlin's CO, XO, Navigation Officer, Officer of the Watch. I was somehow a bit intimidated.
Guess what the Co did. He whistled to the Berlin's CO. He then tapped his right hand on his left Shoulder boards and then tapped on mine just as wanted to say "I don't know how you run things on your ship, but on mine we don't need Officers for just an easy Task".

CO:"Alright, Mr. Marquardt, let's disengage.!
Me:"Aye Aye Sir! Engines Ahead full Rotation for 25 Knots!"
Helmsman:"Engines Ahead Full Rotation for 25 Knots! Aye!
CO:"You know Mr. Marquardt, you did this quite well. I think I'll let you handle the next real RAS"
Me:"You're kidding, Sir! Right?"
CO:"Do I give you the Impression of kidding, Mister!"
Me:"I guess not, Sir!"

I handled this Ship for another Quarter of an hour, but believe me, for the rest of the Journey, I almost got a Heart Attack every I heard the 1MC saying "All hands, prepare for RAS".

NOW GO AHEAD AND TELL US YOUR STORY!!!
2006-05-19 04:48:52
{BMF}*Frank_The_Tank
U.S. > Iran
+497|6885|Florida
I personally dont have a story, since i never enlisted.  But Ill share a story of a friend of mine that was in the Army who was deployed to Iraq.  My friends last name is Root, and he was a specialist.

His normal job was to raid houses in Sadr City, Iraq, and just happened to be the guy that kicked the door in.  But apparently it was slow that day, because he was given guard duty on his base.  He was standing at the gate, and some Iraqis brought a family member of theirs up to him that had from the mid-shin of his leg down missing, which he had apparently been run over by a U.S. convoy, and the family brought him to one of our bases to get him help, and left him there.  So he did his job, and called for a medic to come up to the gate and help the guy out, but he couldnt leave his post, so he had to wait on someone to come to him.  The translator who was at the gate with him (who translated the story about being run over) was talking Spc. Root about what to do with the guy. (and this may not be in exact quotes but its somewhere close)

Translator: "What are we gonna do with this guy, he needs some help or he will die"
Spc. Root: "Were gonna wait for the medic because we cant leave our post"
Translator: "But he will die......dont you have a first aid kit in your pack, use it on him so he doesnt die"
Spc. Root: "Hey fuck you man, Im not using my medic pack to help him, that pack is for me incase I get shot, not to help some dumbshit who didnt get out of the way for a convoy."

The medics finally got there....but the guy had died because of so much blood loss.

In a way its a bit sad, but at the same time its kind of funny.  Maybe you have to know my buddy to understand why its funny lol.
2006-05-19 04:56:43
Starfleet1403
...to bodly spawn where no one has spawned before!
+66|6930|Born in West-Berlin

{BMF}*Frank_The_Tank wrote:

Spc. Root: "Hey fuck you man, Im not using my medic pack to help him, that pack is for me incase I get shot, not to help some dumbshit who didnt get out of the way for a convoy."
Regarding the Situation in Iraq, I can fully understand that.

In a Peacetime Situation I might handled otherwise. But what do I know, such things never happened to me.
2006-05-19 05:04:59
Thumper04
"So there I was..."
+7|6935|Floriduh
So i'm a Crew Chief on MH-53M Pave Low helicopters in the USAF, and our squadron has this little "tradition" (cough hazing cough) that everytime you go on your first TDY assignment, you recieve a thorough ass kicking. Not an actual physical beating, more like getting tackled, duct taped and zip tied, cargo strapped to a pole litter (stretcher) carried over to a building, covert in large amounts of grease, petroleum jelly, the goo from inside chem sticks, and an odd mixture of confetti and styrofoam peanuts. quite entertaining. I got off easy, because usually it involves your boot laces getting cut and your feet being spraypainted black or green.

Mind you, earlier in the day they shaved a mohawk into my head, and made me recover the aircraft when it landed. Conversation went something like this.
Me: Ground's up.
Pilot: Chief, WTF is wrong with your hair.
Me: Needed a haircut sir.
Pilot: Why are they're dudes over there by the power cart with rubber gloves on and duct tape.
Me: I may be dissapearing shortly sir.
Pilot: Why?
Me: First Td.... *tackled*

the funny thing was they never took my headsets off, so while i was fighting with them i was still sitting there talking to the pilot.

Most importanly: Pics!
https://img239.imageshack.us/img239/8371/imag00034py.jpg
https://img162.imageshack.us/img162/866/imag00137oi.jpg
2006-05-19 05:09:52
Starfleet1403
...to bodly spawn where no one has spawned before!
+66|6930|Born in West-Berlin
Funny Story. But what is a TDY Assignment? Never heard of it.
2006-05-19 05:16:38
Thumper04
"So there I was..."
+7|6935|Floriduh

Starfleet1403 wrote:

Funny Story. But what is a TDY Assignment? Never heard of it.
Temporary Duty. Pretty much a buisness trip. Usually involves us flying helicopters somewhere else to train on things we don't have in floriduh. Like mountians.
2006-05-19 05:25:31
Cougar
Banned
+1,962|7072|Dallas
I got to go down in the boom pod of a KC-135 mid-flight in route to Little Rock AFB from Altus AFB, OK.  That was intresting, looking straight down from 20,000 feet. 

Best view in the Air Force.
2006-05-19 05:28:22
Starfleet1403
...to bodly spawn where no one has spawned before!
+66|6930|Born in West-Berlin

Thumper04 wrote:

Starfleet1403 wrote:

Funny Story. But what is a TDY Assignment? Never heard of it.
Temporary Duty. Pretty much a buisness trip. Usually involves us flying helicopters somewhere else to train on things we don't have in floriduh. Like mountians.
Alright. So it's like the German Navy's DLQ (Deck Landing Qualifying). I mean you don't have a land-based pitching, rolling, yawing Ship. Right?

But we don't have a similar Tradition at those DLQs, so your Story is still unique!
2006-05-19 05:29:39
Starfleet1403
...to bodly spawn where no one has spawned before!
+66|6930|Born in West-Berlin

Cougar wrote:

I got to go down in the boom pod of a KC-135 mid-flight in route to Little Rock AFB from Altus AFB, OK.  That was intresting, looking straight down from 20,000 feet. 

Best view in the Air Force.
Yeah. The Sight must been breathtaking.
2006-05-19 05:34:43
Cougar
Banned
+1,962|7072|Dallas

Starfleet1403 wrote:

Cougar wrote:

I got to go down in the boom pod of a KC-135 mid-flight in route to Little Rock AFB from Altus AFB, OK.  That was intresting, looking straight down from 20,000 feet. 

Best view in the Air Force.
Yeah. The Sight must been breathtaking.
More like defecating for the first few minutes.
2006-05-19 05:42:35
Starfleet1403
...to bodly spawn where no one has spawned before!
+66|6930|Born in West-Berlin

Cougar wrote:

Starfleet1403 wrote:

Cougar wrote:

I got to go down in the boom pod of a KC-135 mid-flight in route to Little Rock AFB from Altus AFB, OK.  That was intresting, looking straight down from 20,000 feet. 

Best view in the Air Force.
Yeah. The Sight must been breathtaking.
More like defecating for the first few minutes.
According to Webster' New Collegiate Dictionary defecating means:

1. to free from impurity or corruption
2. to discharge through the anus

In case you meant #1 -> Nice
In case you meant #2 -> ROFLMAO

No Offense!
2006-05-19 05:52:37
Kylau
Member
+9|7013|Washington
Why don't the crew chiefs fly with the helicopter?

So you startup and shutdown like an attack helicopter? Thats odd.
2006-05-19 10:20:41
Thumper04
"So there I was..."
+7|6935|Floriduh

Starfleet1403 wrote:

Alright. So it's like the German Navy's DLQ (Deck Landing Qualifying). I mean you don't have a land-based pitching, rolling, yawing Ship. Right?

But we don't have a similar Tradition at those DLQs, so your Story is still unique!
ahh, but occasionally we fly up to a navy base nearby to train our retarded pilots on deck landings. We had a pilot pancake one into the deck so hard he blew the top of the shock strut out. (Bigass shock absorber)

Mind you, those things are rated to a 600 foot per minute landing at just shy of 40,000 pounds gross weight, so he was movin. Then he had the gall to tell us it wasn't a hard landing.

Kylau wrote:

Why don't the crew chiefs fly with the helicopter?

So you startup and shutdown like an attack helicopter? Thats odd.
Air Force crew chiefs only fly with them during cross-country trips and a few other situations. We run em up, shut em down, and fix what the crew broke. Pretty cool job that's taken me to a lot of interesting places.
2006-05-19 23:37:34
Starfleet1403
...to bodly spawn where no one has spawned before!
+66|6930|Born in West-Berlin

Thumper04 wrote:

Starfleet1403 wrote:

Alright. So it's like the German Navy's DLQ (Deck Landing Qualifying). I mean you don't have a land-based pitching, rolling, yawing Ship. Right?

But we don't have a similar Tradition at those DLQs, so your Story is still unique!
ahh, but occasionally we fly up to a navy base nearby to train our retarded pilots on deck landings. We had a pilot pancake one into the deck so hard he blew the top of the shock strut out. (Bigass shock absorber)

Mind you, those things are rated to a 600 foot per minute landing at just shy of 40,000 pounds gross weight, so he was movin. Then he had the gall to tell us it wasn't a hard landing.
Right. Those Pilots are rarely the Hotshots they claim to be.

thumper04 wrote:

Kylau wrote:

Why don't the crew chiefs fly with the helicopter?

So you startup and shutdown like an attack helicopter? Thats odd.
Air Force crew chiefs only fly with them during cross-country trips and a few other situations. We run em up, shut em down, and fix what the crew broke. Pretty cool job that's taken me to a lot of interesting places.
For Example? German Navy brought me to about 20 different Countries in Europe, North America and Africa. So where have you been so far?
2006-05-19 23:49:58
GunSlinger OIF II
Banned.
+1,860|6951
I got way too many stories to just choose one.

the one about the retard who got run over, or where my PLTSGT drank his own piss....holy shit good times.
2006-05-19 23:56:04
Starfleet1403
...to bodly spawn where no one has spawned before!
+66|6930|Born in West-Berlin
Now I am curious. Why would someone drink his own Piss? Tell us that one, please!
2006-05-20 05:40:24
Starfleet1403
...to bodly spawn where no one has spawned before!
+66|6930|Born in West-Berlin
Okay Guys, here is another one from me. Again it involves my CO (the same as above) and myself. This Story took Place in 2002. We were sailing for Copenhagen, Denmark for idenpent Self-Exercises (ISEX).
During my Navigation Watch my Chief (CQM)came to the Bridge to show the CO some Planning involving a Live Missile Firing Exercise. I took a Glimpse of the Planning Chart, saw the planned Firing Position and a DTG (Date-Time-Group) that said 141200Z MAR, which means 1200 ZULU-Time on the 14th of March.
Since Mar 14 is my Birthday (Doh!) I approach my Chief.

Me:"Chief! Since I am onboard, this Ship has fired 19 SM-1 Missiles. Since Mar 14 happens to be my Birthday, I demand to watch 20th Missile with my own Eyes!"
CQM:"Captain! Mr. Marquardt wants to ride a SM-1 Missile, because Mar 14 is his Birthday!"
CO:"Sure, that can be arranged"
Me."Haha, very funny"

I returned to my Duties. In the following Minutes I watched the CO. He was sitting in his Chair, staring out the next Window for 5 Minutes. Then he came to me.

CO:"Mr. Marquardt, you Birthday is on Mar 14?"
Me:"Aye Captain"
CO:"You know what. I'll let you shot the first Missile on that Day!"
Me:"What, me? Hahaha. That was a good one, Sir."
CO:"You think I'm joking?"
Me:"Well Sir, according to Regulations, I think Weapon System of that Magnitude are only fired by Officers. In this Case the Missile Officer."
CO:"Do you still think I'm joking, MISTER?"
Me:"Well Sir, after reconsidering, ehmm. NO SIR!"
CO:"Great, it's settled then"

Honestly, I didn't believed all this til the next Day, when the Chief Missile Fire Control Technician (CMFCT) approached me.

CMFCT:"Mr. Marquardt, do you have any Business at 0930 hours?"
Me:"No Chief, why you are asking?"
CMFCT:"I have Orders from the Captain to show you how to fire a SM-1 SAM."
Me:"?????????"
CMFCT:"Meet me in CIC at 0930 hours"
Me:"Aye Aye Chief!"

Over the next couple of Days, the Chief told me everything I needed to know. Strangest thing was that one has to push the Fire Button at T-2 Seconds. Because it would take 2 Seconds to relay the Signal to the Missile.

On Mar 13 we departed from Kiel for Bergen, Norway to meet with the NATO Task Group formerly known as SNFL of Standing Naval Force Atlantic, which we were deployed to.
On Mar 14 we were on Firing Position when the 1MC announced "Mr. Marquardt to the CIC, on the Double!". In CIC the Skipper extended his Birthday wishes and ordered me to prepare. I was lucky the Missile Officer was present. All I had to do was to push the Button. I did so and the Missile left the Rail at exactly T-0.

It was the most expensive Birthday present I ever got (about 300000 EURO), that litteraly went apart the fastest way.

Last edited by Starfleet1403 (2006-05-20 05:41:31)

2006-05-20 06:14:33
Starfleet1403
...to bodly spawn where no one has spawned before!
+66|6930|Born in West-Berlin
This one happened nearly five years ago!

Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2001 — More than two weeks have passed since the Sept. 11 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Reaction to the attacks and expressions of support for the United States continue to be received.
What follows is a first-person account of a day at sea aboard one of the Navy's newest guided missile destroyers, USS Winston S. Churchill (DDG 81) in the days following the attacks. This account was in an e-mail sent home by one of Churchill's officers.

" We have seen the articles and the photographs [of the attacks], and they are sickening. Being isolated as we are, I don't think we appreciate the full scope of what is happening back home, but we are definitely feeling the effects.

"About two hours ago the junior officers were called to the bridge to conduct Shiphandling drills. We were about to do a man overboard when we got a call from Lutjens (D 185), a German warship that was moored ahead of us on the pier in Plymouth, England.

"While in port, Winston S. Churchill and Lutjens got together for a sports day/cookout on our fantail, and we made some pretty good friends. Now at sea they called over on bridge-to-bridge, requesting to pass us close up on our port side, to say goodbye. We prepared to render them honors on the bridge wing, and the captain told the crew to come topside to wish them farewell.

"As they were making their approach, our conning officer ... announced that they were flying an American flag. As they came even closer, we saw that it was flying at half-mast. The bridge wing was crowded with people as the Boatswain's Mate blew two whistles — Attention to Port."

Lutjens "came up alongside and we saw that the entire crew of the German ship were manning the rails, in their dress blues. They had made up a sign that was displayed on the side that read "We Stand By You". Needless to say there was not a dry eye on the bridge as they stayed alongside us for a few minutes and we cut our salutes. It was probably the most powerful thing I have seen in my entire life and more than a few of us fought to retain our composure.

"It was a beautiful day outside today. We are no longer at liberty to divulge over unsecure e-mail our location, but we could not have asked for a finer day at sea. The German Navy did an incredible thing for this crew, and it has truly been the highest point in the days since the attacks. It's amazing to think that only a half-century ago things were quite different, and to see the unity that is being demonstrated throughout Europe and the world makes us all feel proud to be out here doing our job.

"After [Lutjens] pulled away and we prepared to begin our man overboard drills, the Officer of the Deck turned to me and said "I'm staying Navy."

I served on FGS Lütjens at that time. We rendered the same honors to USS Gonzalez (DDG-66) which sailed several hundres yards ahead of the USS Winston S. Churchill. That day we felt It'd be the right gesture.
2006-05-20 07:42:48
Starfleet1403
...to bodly spawn where no one has spawned before!
+66|6930|Born in West-Berlin

GunSlinger OIF II wrote:

I got way too many stories to just choose one.

the one about the retard who got run over, or where my PLTSGT drank his own piss....holy shit good times.
Let's hear it. Why did he drank his own Piss?
2006-05-20 08:06:36
{BMF}*Frank_The_Tank
U.S. > Iran
+497|6885|Florida
Good story starfleet
2006-05-20 08:10:08
Starfleet1403
...to bodly spawn where no one has spawned before!
+66|6930|Born in West-Berlin

{BMF}*Frank_The_Tank wrote:

Good story starfleet
Thanks, I am glad you enjoyed it.

 

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