I think inviting them in for a cuppa would worry them more
cant say iv ever had any dealings with them.
Most of these stories are complete bullshit. In a few of the stories people have mentioned the Jehovas Witnesses saying "Would you like to go to heaven?" According to my one buddy who is a Jehova, they don't believe in heaven or something to that effect. I also asked him a question, "Why do you people (Jehova's) keep coming back to peoples houses after they tell you to go away?" He gave me the answer, "Because we think people might change their mind and be more willing to listen." So, if you've ever wondered why they come to your house so often, that is why. I personally don't see any good reason to be mean to them. They can do what they want to because they have freedom of religion to do so. Can't say I'll ever buy into what they say but I'm not gonna be mean just because they have different viewpoints than me. Lighten up people!
well they have showed up a few times many years ago.
here's what i would do every time.
open the door and greet them, asking what they wanted.
Listen a bit to them talking, and when they asked if they could come in, said sure.
Sit down, listen a bit more, asking a few questions, so i seemed interested.
Then i would lay into them, about the inconsistensies of their religion. About how they have predicted the end of the world a few times, but have gotten "extensions". The works...
Then they would pull out a little book, asking if i would like to have it. Then looking at them curiously, standing up, and walking over to my bookshelf. Pulling out a book, asking if it's something like this? (showing them hells bible or the necronomicon).
then say, nah, not interested, smiling widely, and send them out the door.
Never ever saw them at the same apartment or house twice... sadly i moved alot during those days, so a new group would come to my new home... hehe.. same treatment...
here's what i would do every time.
open the door and greet them, asking what they wanted.
Listen a bit to them talking, and when they asked if they could come in, said sure.
Sit down, listen a bit more, asking a few questions, so i seemed interested.
Then i would lay into them, about the inconsistensies of their religion. About how they have predicted the end of the world a few times, but have gotten "extensions". The works...
Then they would pull out a little book, asking if i would like to have it. Then looking at them curiously, standing up, and walking over to my bookshelf. Pulling out a book, asking if it's something like this? (showing them hells bible or the necronomicon).
then say, nah, not interested, smiling widely, and send them out the door.
Never ever saw them at the same apartment or house twice... sadly i moved alot during those days, so a new group would come to my new home... hehe.. same treatment...
Ha, thx duckforceone ur story reminds me of something that happended a few years ago...
It was a rainy sunday and these Jehova guys ring the doorbell, and i open and they ask me if i have the bible..
And i answer by saying "Yeah, sure next to the quran"(is that how you spell it?)... They were so pwned..
It was a rainy sunday and these Jehova guys ring the doorbell, and i open and they ask me if i have the bible..
And i answer by saying "Yeah, sure next to the quran"(is that how you spell it?)... They were so pwned..
Sh1fty2k5 it is spelled Koran however that is pretty funny.
My last JW encounter:
Four JW's came to my door. A lady in her 50s, another lady in her 30s, and two young children, a boy and a girl. The boy and girl were dressed in their sunday finest, with the boy trying his best to hold up the Ginormous bible he was carrying. The woman in her 30s was kind of standing back and looked really depressed, while the old woman and the children were right in front of my door.
The old woman started off with their usual tripe, asking if I wanted to find jesus and all of that. I let her go on for a while, then I looked at the kids. I knelt down and told them to get closer. I looked them straight in the eye and said "Kids, when you turn 18, I want you to get as Far away from these people as you can." Then I shut the door.
They haven't been back since.
Four JW's came to my door. A lady in her 50s, another lady in her 30s, and two young children, a boy and a girl. The boy and girl were dressed in their sunday finest, with the boy trying his best to hold up the Ginormous bible he was carrying. The woman in her 30s was kind of standing back and looked really depressed, while the old woman and the children were right in front of my door.
The old woman started off with their usual tripe, asking if I wanted to find jesus and all of that. I let her go on for a while, then I looked at the kids. I knelt down and told them to get closer. I looked them straight in the eye and said "Kids, when you turn 18, I want you to get as Far away from these people as you can." Then I shut the door.
They haven't been back since.
"Got woken by a missionary,
Who'd come to deliver
a message of peace, yeah.
I told her peace was,
what I had until I got woken by a missionary."
Shihad - Missionary.
Here's a couple of quotes. They're as accurate as I can remember them.
This extract from "Black Books."
[Bernard Black is trying to do his taxes, but keeps procrastinating because it is so boring.There is a knock at the door and he opens it.]
Jehova's witness #1: "Hello. We'd like to talk to you about Jesus."
Black: "Brilliant, yes, come in, tell me what Jesus has been up to lately."
[Cut to inside wher Bernard and the two Jehova's witnesses are sitting down to tea with awkward silence.]
Black: "So, you were going to tell me about Jesus?"
Jehova's Witness #2: "Well... actually, you see... this has never happned before and... well... we don't know what to do..."
Maybe gives some insight into what would actually happen if you did invite them in.
This extract from the Simpsons.
Marge and Lisa are waiting for someone to ring their new doorbell.
Lisa, (Joyously,): "Mom! People are coming! I think they're Jehova's Witnesses!"
[close up of male Jehova's Witness' finger, nearly on doorbell]
Female JW: "Wait Maurice, maybe we're annoying people by trying to change their faith. What if we don't have all the answers?"
Male JW: "You're right Mary, lets go get real jobs."
[Both JWs throw their books over their shoulders as they walk away from the Simpson's place.]
Marge,(looking at them leaving through the window.): "Hrmmm. I would have feigned interest."
Hee hee. Simpsons's rule.
Who'd come to deliver
a message of peace, yeah.
I told her peace was,
what I had until I got woken by a missionary."
Shihad - Missionary.
Here's a couple of quotes. They're as accurate as I can remember them.
This extract from "Black Books."
[Bernard Black is trying to do his taxes, but keeps procrastinating because it is so boring.There is a knock at the door and he opens it.]
Jehova's witness #1: "Hello. We'd like to talk to you about Jesus."
Black: "Brilliant, yes, come in, tell me what Jesus has been up to lately."
[Cut to inside wher Bernard and the two Jehova's witnesses are sitting down to tea with awkward silence.]
Black: "So, you were going to tell me about Jesus?"
Jehova's Witness #2: "Well... actually, you see... this has never happned before and... well... we don't know what to do..."
Maybe gives some insight into what would actually happen if you did invite them in.
This extract from the Simpsons.
Marge and Lisa are waiting for someone to ring their new doorbell.
Lisa, (Joyously,): "Mom! People are coming! I think they're Jehova's Witnesses!"
[close up of male Jehova's Witness' finger, nearly on doorbell]
Female JW: "Wait Maurice, maybe we're annoying people by trying to change their faith. What if we don't have all the answers?"
Male JW: "You're right Mary, lets go get real jobs."
[Both JWs throw their books over their shoulders as they walk away from the Simpson's place.]
Marge,(looking at them leaving through the window.): "Hrmmm. I would have feigned interest."
Hee hee. Simpsons's rule.
[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon
I never saw the accident!!! That's my story and I'm stickin' with it.
Here is mine. I bartend at a local pubbish style joint.......Seasonal community(Cape Cod)...we hire new girls to hostess and waitress every summer.....She's 21, a virgin, very cute, and a Jehova's Witness....and she had a crush on me.......well long story short she's still a virgin cause they really don't believe in sex before marriage....but a very nice kisser and nice nipples......
Well, JW's are basically a cult, they believe that their religion is the only way, so, of course they want to convert you.
Well I'm a Lutheran Christian and JW's havent come to my door yet.
Well I'm a Lutheran Christian and JW's havent come to my door yet.
2 girls came to my door:
Girl: Hi we'd like to share something with you....
Me: ok.
*she pulls out a watchtower booklet*
Me: Ok what religeon is this?
Girl: Jehova's Witness
Me: Well my whole family and I are saved christians... and we're not interested
*Shut the door in their face*
owned
edit: funny thing was they came on christmas eve
Girl: Hi we'd like to share something with you....
Me: ok.
*she pulls out a watchtower booklet*
Me: Ok what religeon is this?
Girl: Jehova's Witness
Me: Well my whole family and I are saved christians... and we're not interested
*Shut the door in their face*
owned
edit: funny thing was they came on christmas eve
Last edited by soadlink (2006-01-07 00:33:49)
About 10 years ago there was this really hot chick at work! Nice tits'n'arse, and a pretty face to boot, then I found out she was a Jayho and was quite disappointed. I also walk past a Kingdom Hall on the way to work, but nobodys ever ther...I've had mormons come doorknocking as much as JWs...mormons are always guys (white shirt, black pants, BIG badge...) and tend to be more pleasant than the JWs, but the JWs always come with a pretty young thing in tow
When i moved about 2 years ago, i was getting alot of knocks on my door by these ppl, sometimes every 2 weeks or so. They werent rude so i wasnt and everytime i got a watchtower magazine, which are actually pretty funny cause they re full of stupid shit. Anyways i was having enough of it cause they kept on coming back. So when they returned i told em i read those watchtowers and i didnt think they were any good, allthough i had a good laugh reading them.
They must have put me on their 'beyond help/going to hell list' cause i never saw them again.
They must have put me on their 'beyond help/going to hell list' cause i never saw them again.
While I was student in NL, they were coming like once a month, on saturdays. Early in the "morning" when all the normal students are sleeping (around noon). I politely let them speak, and when they stop I thank them for the effort and wish them a good day.... and I close the door. End of story.
I do not believe that being mean, without particular reason, towards anyone is good. Just, not worth the effort. I am sorry however, that they did not experience many things in the life that I would consider great...
I do not believe that being mean, without particular reason, towards anyone is good. Just, not worth the effort. I am sorry however, that they did not experience many things in the life that I would consider great...
This was maybe a year or two ago. A buddy of mine was at my house playing ps2 when the doorbell rings. Me in all my wisdom moves the blind up and I'm greeted by a JW who smiles at me. I say aww shit the JW's know I'm home now. My friend says he'll answer the door. So he answers I'm a lil ways back in the hall watching. The woman pulls out a watchtower and a pamphlet about the devil or something. My friend goes " I'm sorry but I pray to and worship chuck norris." I'm in the hallway partially in shock and snickering to mysel ( I don't think I'd have the balls to actually tell one of them something like that) So there they are the woman, man and 2 kids standing there staring. The woman decides to try again and starts to say somthing when my friend cuts her off and says " I wasn't finished...did you know his tears cure cancer therefore my religion is much better then yours, how about you wait here a minute and I'll bring you back a copy of "The book of Chuck". Needless to say they politly declinded and left. They have come back even though it was different people but I was JW free for a couple of months
I remember my father telling me this story once after a few Jehovahs witnesses' came to our door a while ago.
Apparently, when my Dad was younger, he was out with some friends when some Jehoavah's witnesses came to his door. My grandfather, in good spirits (and since no one was home), decided to disrobe, and show up to the door stark naked. You'd think Jehovah's Witnesses wouldn't be frightened by something made by God, y'know?
As far as I know his house was Johvah's witness free for a long time.
Apparently, when my Dad was younger, he was out with some friends when some Jehoavah's witnesses came to his door. My grandfather, in good spirits (and since no one was home), decided to disrobe, and show up to the door stark naked. You'd think Jehovah's Witnesses wouldn't be frightened by something made by God, y'know?
As far as I know his house was Johvah's witness free for a long time.
Maybe I should add something from a Dutch commercial to this.
http://www.visit4info.com/details.cfm?adid=20742
Enjoy
http://www.visit4info.com/details.cfm?adid=20742
Enjoy
One day I was in the garage, often was when I was younger tinkering with my dads electric power tools, had the garage door shut with the radio on full volume. Theres a small gap in the door that light was coming through and I noticed the light flicker as someone was walking past. The garage had a regular door on the side too and there's a knock at it. Funny I thought, everyone knows to knock on the main door if they want me. So I open the door and walk round the side of the garage. There's this well dressed man and woman standing,
"shit witnesses" I thought
"what the f~~k do you want, don't come f'ing preaching to me about God and shit, I only belive in science" I said quite infruated.
Imagine my surprise when the man pulls out his wallet and says
"I'm Detective Sergeant whatever from Northumbria Police department, can we ask a few questions about a burgalry in your area"
Quite embarresed to say the least
"shit witnesses" I thought
"what the f~~k do you want, don't come f'ing preaching to me about God and shit, I only belive in science" I said quite infruated.
Imagine my surprise when the man pulls out his wallet and says
"I'm Detective Sergeant whatever from Northumbria Police department, can we ask a few questions about a burgalry in your area"
Quite embarresed to say the least
i've heard of these guys, can relate also, but what religion are they...um......"selling"?
i find answering the door with a bottle of Jack daniels and a lit joint in hand seems to work pretty well ohh yeah in your boxers to
I live in Canada and i've never been bothered by them so you say its always two guys or two girls and girls you meaning young girls not old ladies right?
Well if they were good looking i'd invite them in and give them some milk and cookies then pull my pants down and show them my balls and tell them how im a Satan's Witness and i saw him yesterday and he told me to pregnant every nun in his honor.
The most annoying are the people who call you're numbering advertsing shit i say no to everything and hang up once i was in a real bad mood and i swore at them lol they called back and there like omg why were you so rude and i just hung up again they sounded like 16 year old airheads.
This other idiot its about some moving company hes left a msg on are answering machine at least 20 times in the past 6 months
Well if they were good looking i'd invite them in and give them some milk and cookies then pull my pants down and show them my balls and tell them how im a Satan's Witness and i saw him yesterday and he told me to pregnant every nun in his honor.
The most annoying are the people who call you're numbering advertsing shit i say no to everything and hang up once i was in a real bad mood and i swore at them lol they called back and there like omg why were you so rude and i just hung up again they sounded like 16 year old airheads.
This other idiot its about some moving company hes left a msg on are answering machine at least 20 times in the past 6 months