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2005-12-20 17:01:29
TrevorP
Member
+0|7010
First off if I offend anyone its purely unintentional and Im only posting for a good laugh.

Here in canada we get the Jehova's Witnesses knock on the door occasionally. Its always two guys or two girls and they are always well dressed. They knock on your door and try and convert you preety much. Well a couple of days ago two knocked on my door and my mom answered and when she told them no thanks they kept on talking until my mom shut the door on them. So I told my dad this and he told me a story about my uncle Terry a while ago.

It was an afternoon on some time of the year when my grandmother was working in the kitchen and she saw two Jehova's witnesses comming down the drive way so she asked my uncle-in-law Terry to take care of them. So he jumped up and went to the door and when they knocked he opened up the door and bellowed at the top of his lungs.

"I HATE JESUS!!"

And slammed the door. They never bugged my grandmother again.
2005-12-21 10:44:39
gun.piranha
Member
+1|6924
having ac/dc's highway to hell song playing full volume when they knocked on my door, they havnt been back since
2005-12-21 10:50:46
stef
Member
+-6|6966
i dont like them they said they have seen God/jehova/ it means to be. they say that alot of what that stands in the bible is fake they claim that god took more time of making the earth and if they say something like that its calling god someone who lies and the story goes on and really they dont even know what they believe in.
2005-12-21 11:01:20
=RDG=[N.B]canadiannnn
Forklift Whore
+67|6985|Canader , eh?
the best way to keep them away is a ''i donate blood'' sticker on your door..it works for me

Last edited by [N.B]canadiannnn (2005-12-21 11:01:54)

2005-12-21 11:14:57
=NAA=TheTaxidermist
Member
+6|6951|In a van down by the river
I don't see why everybody hates Jehova's Witnesses.  I know a few and like the first person said they are pretty well dressed.  When they come to my door I let them go through their speech and then tell them I'm not interested.  This is what they do for their life, why be mean to them just because they hold different beliefs than you.  Even when the Mormons come to the door I'll listen for a minute but then tell them I'm not interested.  It's like telemarketers, sure you may not want to hear what they have to say but its their job to try and sell you something.  Anywho, thats my two cents.  Pretty much, just don't be an ass.
2005-12-21 12:12:16
whittsend
PV1 Joe Snuffy
+78|6975|MA, USA
Several years back a couple of them came to my door; a man and a woman.  The woman was fairly cute too.  Normally I just say I'm not interested and close the door because, as someone else noted, they WILL try to chew your ear off.  This time, however, I gave the lady a good once over, turned to the guy and said, "She can come in, but you can't."  They politely declined and left.  Haven't heard from them since!! 
2005-12-21 12:19:53
Kung Jew
That one mod
+331|6963|Houston, TX

whittsend wrote:

Several years back a couple of them came to my door; a man and a woman.  The woman was fairly cute too.  Normally I just say I'm not interested and close the door because, as someone else noted, they WILL try to chew your ear off.  This time, however, I gave the lady a good once over, turned to the guy and said, "She can come in, but you can't."  They politely declined and left.  Haven't heard from them since!! 
LOL, I'd love to see his expression....
2005-12-21 12:21:17
pfcilng
Member
+0|6984|Northern Illinois University
I was at Drill for the guard, my squad went out for a quick donut run at the local Krispy Kreme.  Some of use were outside smoking, while the SL got the donuts.  Three guys come up in the dress pants and short sleeve shirt with tie.  I walked to the car with the donuts and waited, the rest of my squad went through the questione and answer stuff with them, until they got to one of them who said he was "Inmortal", they promptly left.

When I was a little kid, we would always close the blinds and hide until they left, they would usually have a spotter on the sidewalk signaling if he saw any movement in the house.
2005-12-21 12:53:30
ronin1942
Member
+-1|7061

=NAA=TheTaxidermist wrote:

I don't see why everybody hates Jehova's Witnesses.  I know a few and like the first person said they are pretty well dressed.  When they come to my door I let them go through their speech and then tell them I'm not interested.  This is what they do for their life, why be mean to them just because they hold different beliefs than you.  Even when the Mormons come to the door I'll listen for a minute but then tell them I'm not interested.  It's like telemarketers, sure you may not want to hear what they have to say but its their job to try and sell you something.  Anywho, thats my two cents.  Pretty much, just don't be an ass.
NO be an ass. they are peddling GOD like a door to door salesman. they are reducing there whole religion to the same status as a vacumn! and if the same company kept sending salesman to my house for a product i dont want im going to be an ass. Thats why there is a no call list for telemarketers. i dont dislike them because what they belive in i dislike them because they (not all just the ones comming to my house) have no respect for the religion they are promoting. i study many religions and dont declair any one faith as my own they all are right in some way but i have no respect for people who see religion as a product to "sell".
2005-12-21 13:00:10
Ty
Mass Media Casualty
+2,398|6992|Noizyland

My mate's a Jehovahs Witness. Well, he's not but his parents are. He dosn't get Xmas Presents, Easter Eggs, or Birthday presents. He does get a present each time he gets a haircut though, (needless to say he keeps his hair pretty short.)

When I go to play BF2 at iPlay, there is normally some arse preaching his head off, or stopping people in the street. I think I mentioned this in another post once.

It was early this year and me and my mate Rob had gone to play BF1942, (BF2 wasn't out yet.) Some guy stopped us in the street and approached me because I looked less threatening/tall than Rob.

"Do you wan't to go to Heaven?"
"Err... ah... you know, I don't... really believe in that... uh.. Athiest."
"Well it does exist, so do you want to go to heaven."
"Err.. ah, well, I don't really know..."
'Would you rather go to Hell and face eternal damnation?!"
"Well... now that you mention it... yeah, Hell sounds okay I guess."
"I'm trying to help you here and introduce you to an eternity of bliss, PLEASE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!!"
"Okay, you know what, in response to your initial question, no, I do not want to go to Heaven."
"What?"
"Yeah, because I'd have to deal with dumb fucks like you on a daily basis."

He gave up after that.

Once my sister got a call from my mum telling her that "Jehovahs Witnesses were doing their rounds today." my sister immediatly got into her most dark and gothic gear, got her Maralyn Manson CD out and by the time the Jehovah's Witnesses arrived, she greeted them with 'Antichrist Superstar.' She let them explain their piece and then said very politely, "I'm sorry, but I'm a tool of the Devil."
They said awkward goodbyes and the Witnesses left.

It's so fun to fuck with their minds.

Another story involved my sister being stoped i the same spot I was at a later date.
"Do you have a Cellphone?"
"Ah, yes I do."
"Did it come with an instruction manual?"
"Ahum, yes it did."
"So you think life should come with an instruction manuel",(it was pretty obvious here that the Bible was this manual.)
"Not really, I mostly just chuck manuals away and work things out for myself."

Score!
[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon
2005-12-21 13:42:01
CreepingDeath
Member
+1|6962
OH i have the best of all Jehova's Witnesses story.

About I would say 15 years ago. Living with this now and long ago ex. Ihad seen over last summer for the first time in all these years. " Damn !" Thank god she broke up with me. She did me a favor. She is now twice the size of when i was dating her. Motherhood has not did her well. Anyways.
  It was this girls birthday and i was setting up getting ready for a party, when I heard a knock at the door.
In a hurry I had answered it. OMG I thought to my self who the fuck are you all" Two girls and one guy.
They had asked me if I wanted to help change the politics and maybe the way the world is ran now days. Thinking to myself hmm sure what do I need to sign, a quick potion of some sorts?
  Asking if i had a minute, I said sure, a quick one. Since I am haven a birthday party in about 2 hours unless you wanted to stay for it. They said no no thank you, but we would like for you to think about god and what he wants for us to do with our lives?
Say what? Thats one things you dont mix is god and politics. Then I asked bluntly or more like " your  fucking Jehova's Witnesses aren't you all "? Then I would say that staying for our party is out of the  question isn't it?
    Again they said well, and I cutting them off. I started to discribe the most sexiual things I could only wish the party would of had. I said then I guess it was out of the question about you 2 ladies getting naked and giving my Gf her a lap dance isn't it. In shock they stood up saying you didn't have to be so rude. I said FUCK YOU three, Its rude for you to come knocking on someones fucking door, right off lying to them to get entry, to talk about your all's faulse fake ass fucking god, to a long time catholic. But damn girl I would love for you to sit on my face as my wife sucks me off. About this time they are out of the house. Myself YELLING as loud as i could I said don't fucking come back until you want to sit on my face letting me guess your weight.
   GOD i hate people like this. ------> Jehova's Witnesses
2005-12-21 13:59:31
Ty
Mass Media Casualty
+2,398|6992|Noizyland

Wow. You had balls. Nice one.
[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon
2005-12-21 14:11:47
LT_W.J.Kamikaza
Eat C4 SUCKAH!
+0|7004|Netherlands

CreepingDeath wrote:

OH i have the best of all Jehova's Witnesses story.

About I would say 15 years ago. Living with this now and long ago ex. Ihad seen over last summer for the first time in all these years. " Damn !" Thank god she broke up with me. She did me a favor. She is now twice the size of when i was dating her. Motherhood has not did her well. Anyways.
  It was this girls birthday and i was setting up getting ready for a party, when I heard a knock at the door.
In a hurry I had answered it. OMG I thought to my self who the fuck are you all" Two girls and one guy.
They had asked me if I wanted to help change the politics and maybe the way the world is ran now days. Thinking to myself hmm sure what do I need to sign, a quick potion of some sorts?
  Asking if i had a minute, I said sure, a quick one. Since I am haven a birthday party in about 2 hours unless you wanted to stay for it. They said no no thank you, but we would like for you to think about god and what he wants for us to do with our lives?
Say what? Thats one things you dont mix is god and politics. Then I asked bluntly or more like " your  fucking Jehova's Witnesses aren't you all "? Then I would say that staying for our party is out of the  question isn't it?
    Again they said well, and I cutting them off. I started to discribe the most sexiual things I could only wish the party would of had. I said then I guess it was out of the question about you 2 ladies getting naked and giving my Gf her a lap dance isn't it. In shock they stood up saying you didn't have to be so rude. I said FUCK YOU three, Its rude for you to come knocking on someones fucking door, right off lying to them to get entry, to talk about your all's faulse fake ass fucking god, to a long time catholic. But damn girl I would love for you to sit on my face as my wife sucks me off. About this time they are out of the house. Myself YELLING as loud as i could I said don't fucking come back until you want to sit on my face letting me guess your weight.
   GOD i hate people like this. ------> Jehova's Witnesses
That was pretty rude. And pretty COOL!!!!!!
2005-12-21 14:23:01
Erkut.hv
Member
+124|6952|California

CreepingDeath wrote:

sit on my face letting me guess your weight.
That has to be perhaps the greatest ever pick line created. Just don't use it on a fat chick.

lmmfao.... "Hey baby, want to sit on my face and I'll guess your weight...."

too fawkin funny.
2005-12-22 04:19:14
S4INT05
Member
+1|6947|79605, TX

Erkut.hv wrote:

CreepingDeath wrote:

sit on my face letting me guess your weight.
That has to be perhaps the greatest ever pick line created. Just don't use it on a fat chick.

lmmfao.... "Hey baby, want to sit on my face and I'll guess your weight...."

too fawkin funny.
LMFAO! goddamn i'm going to use that! hahahah ROFLMAO!


oh jesus, those wittnesses bring some funny stories..

about a year or two ago i was sleeping on the couch in the living room, the only one home as my parents were off to work. i was wakened by the sound of the doorbell, and i was pretty pissed off...but perplexed as to who it could be. dun da daa! the witnesses.

"Do you know that god has a name?"
"um...yea...."
"do you know what it is?"
"um....it's not muhammed or anything is it?"

then they had this look on their faces as if i were damned to hell...just to fuck with em...yea yea..

"no! his name is jehova."
"oh well that's great..."
"yeah, and if you would take one of the packets..."
"No thanks, but hey! did you know that you have your own church?!"
"yes, it's located right off..."
"yea i know, but did you know that it has no windows?"
"yes i am aware of that."
"why doesn't your church have any windows? i mean it's not like the wrath of god is going to call in a hurricane and blow them all out is it? after all, you are the chosen ones."
"i am not sure of our lack of windows, but yes, we are going to heaven; would you like to be in heaven after you die?"
*sat there for a minute.....


....



..



.

"ummmmmmmmm.....would you like to die now?"
"no, is this a threat?"
"oh no, no threat, but hell, if you're going to heaven and it's supposed to be all bad ass up there, wouldn't you just like to get to the good part?"
"well yea, but it's not my time yet."
"then it's time for you to make like a fetus and head out!"

last time i have heard from them.
2005-12-22 04:32:14
pokerplaya
want to go heads up?
+11|6951|cairns australia
just tell them to come back after the ritual sacrifice is made to appease the dark lord.also my dad once put the hose on themlol cruel but funny.
foxtrot uniform charlie kilo
2005-12-22 05:19:19
mcminty
Moderating your content for the Australian Govt.
+879|6939|Sydney, Australia

tyferra wrote:

Another story involved my sister being stoped i the same spot I was at a later date.
"Do you have a Cellphone?"
"Ah, yes I do."
"Did it come with an instruction manual?"
"Ahum, yes it did."
"So you think life should come with an instruction manuel",(it was pretty obvious here that the Bible was this manual.)
"Not really, I mostly just chuck manuals away and work things out for myself."
Thats awesome.
2005-12-22 06:27:44
Thanatos247
100% Artillery Magnet
+3|6968|Derby, England
A couple of JW's knocked on my door and started spouting as soon as I opened it. I just stood there glaring at them. They continued for about a minute until they asked a question. I just continued glaring. They looked at each other and carried on for a while.

After about three minutes, they started to dry up things to say, and that 'awkward silence' started to set in. I just carried on glaring at them. After another minute of saying stupid things and feet shuffling they said their goodbytes and I shut the door.

heh heh.
2005-12-22 06:53:00
=RDG=[N.B]canadiannnn
Forklift Whore
+67|6985|Canader , eh?
my BEST JW story(THIS IS REAL!!!)

ok , so its about 3 p.m. and im sleeping (work midnights) and i hear a ring at the doorbell..so i think its the JW calling..(thank god it was) so i thought...''i want to stop these people coming here 4 good''...so i slip on my robe , with nothing underneath and ''forget'' to tie it up...so i walk down to the door and open it..wang hanging out and all...the experssions on their faces was worth is all

Last edited by [N.B]canadiannnn (2005-12-22 06:53:36)

2005-12-22 07:36:05
Mrkite007
Member
+0|6926
Tell ya what, why dont we post a topic on Muslims and Jews, maybe throw one or two others in as well, not cos these ppl will take offence.  After all we dont mean to be offensive & we are only having a good laugh at what they dedicate thier lives to

the fact that a topic has been posted on this subject in itself would offend me if i was involved.

I know jehovas witnesses too, and i doubt very much they asked you if you want to go to heaven, as that is not what they say.

if they did then they must have been "noobs"
2005-12-22 08:03:51
-=Meshekal=-
Member
+2|6959|United Kingdom
lol

I find the easiest way to deal with these people is ask them to explain the Holy Trinity. Not a single one who has ever knocked on my door has managed to do it with out screwing up. And I've never seen the same ones twice.

Got nothing against their religious ideals, but I do have something against them bothering ME with them. You believe what bollocks you want, and leave me out of it.

My next door neighbour once chased some down the road with a stick, that was funny as hell that was (no pun intended :p)

Last edited by -=Meshekal=- (2005-12-22 08:04:44)

2005-12-22 08:58:18
Erkut.hv
Member
+124|6952|California

S4INT05 wrote:

"then it's time for you to make like a fetus and head out!"
Yet another good one. You guys have some pretty good one-liners. I may have to make another thread.
2005-12-22 08:59:29
Mrkite007
Member
+0|6926
The word Trinity comes from a Latin abstract noun which most literally means "three-ness" (or "the property of occurring three at once"). The term Trinity does not appear in the Bible, and indeed did not exist until about AD 200 when Tertullian (who eventually converted to Montanism) coined it as the Latin trinitas and also probably the formula Three Persons, One Substance as the Latin tres Personae, una Substantia itself from the Greek treis Hypostases, Homoousios in the early third century.

Although trinitarian Christians grant that these words and formulas are later developments, and that the consensus only gradually formed

Quote:- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinitarianism


correct me if im wrong, but the original book this is all referring to was literally written in stone at one point.
and one thing it said was that it shouldn't be altered or else etc...

again correct me if im wrong, but and I quote  "consensus only gradually formed" this means it has been changed to mean what ppl want over time... doesn't it?
2005-12-22 09:06:29
Landepaukku
Finnish bush-man
+23|7054|Finland
Well usually when JW fellows come to my doors, i just listen to them for a little while, then just out of a sudden i yell something like "FU!" and slam the door shut. Usually keeps them away for some time.

Also heres a story that keeps annoying phone salesmen/women for calling. Some dude just kept on calling us and asking that if our mother was home. She was just on like 2 weeks work trip or sumthing, so we just always said "nope, not home" and hung up. He just kept and kept on calling, 2-3 times a day, so after about 5 days and 15 calls later my father just replied "she is fucking dead so dont call again ok"?

Quess did he...
2005-12-22 16:46:59
S4INT05
Member
+1|6947|79605, TX
lol man, considering all these crazy stories, i wonder what they put up with ona  day to day basis. lol they get a lot of shit thrown at them. wonder if they have a low self esteem/image..being the chosen ones and all...

 

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