chittydog
less busy
+586|7050|Kubra, Damn it!

!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!
-------------------------------

I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice....

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit!
That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

Last edited by chittydog (2007-01-29 16:54:54)

Sneaky.Russian
Random Hero
+119|6536|Australia QLD
I <3 bread
{M5}Sniper3
Typical white person.
+389|6974|San Antonio, Texas
*In Gir voice*

I love bread!...
Flaming_Maniac
prince of insufficient light
+2,490|6921|67.222.138.85
zomg! no more bread for me
TechGuy
Grammar Nazi
+62|6887
Haha! What meaningless statistical babbling...
TheEternalPessimist
Wibble
+412|6834|Mhz

This all reminds me of the dangers of Di-Hydrogen Monoxide, just less scientific lol.
vpyroman
Aeon Supreme commander
+16|6831|UCF

TheEternalPessimist wrote:

This all reminds me of the dangers of Di-Hydrogen Monoxide, just less scientific lol.
Di-Hydrogen Monoxide, Di-Hydrogen Monoxide, Di-Hydrogen Monoxide. Why does that sound so familiar? I feel as if I know what that is. Eah, I'll think this over a sports bottle of water.
TheOriginalUberN00b
Member
+16|6700|Hereford,AZ. USA

TechGuy wrote:

Haha! What meaningless statistical babbling...
so true you can come up with those kind of stats with alot of other things
BolvisOculus
Spagett!
+167|6833|Manitowoc, WI

TheOriginalUberN00b wrote:

TechGuy wrote:

Haha! What meaningless statistical babbling...
so true you can come up with those kind of stats with alot of other things
I think that might be the joke thanks.
TigerXtrm
Death by Indecency
+51|6583|Netherlands

OMG!!! I call for an immediate ban for all bread!! It's way to dangerous to be a part of society!

Okay I better keep it down... someone here might actually take this serious XD
Vilham
Say wat!?
+580|6981|UK
um sarcasm maybe?
br4vo.f0xtrot
Member
+1|6784

TechGuy wrote:

Haha! What meaningless statistical babbling...
Are you an idiot??!!? that was obviously a significant scientific fact!

I need more bread..NOW!
younggun
Member
+28|6858
Can using DHMO improve my marriage?
  This is a popular myth, but one which is also actually supported by a number of scientific facts. Dihydrogen Monoxide plays an instrumental role in the centers of the brain associated with feelings of emotional attachment and love. Married couples have found that regular ingestion of DHMO can improve their marriage-related activities, while couples that never ingest DHMO often find that their marriage suffers as well. 


LOL!!!
Rellim83
Member
+7|6896|PA
My friend tried to sell  Di-Hydrogen Monoxide on ebay. Some stupid idiot actually bought it and didtn realize what it was. ( i wont tell, i dont watn to ruin the joke)
{M5}Sniper3
Typical white person.
+389|6974|San Antonio, Texas

Rellim83 wrote:

My friend tried to sell  Di-Hydrogen Monoxide on ebay. Some stupid idiot actually bought it and didtn realize what it was. ( i wont tell, i dont watn to ruin the joke)
Is it water?...
ThaReaper
Banned
+410|6854

vpyroman wrote:

TheEternalPessimist wrote:

This all reminds me of the dangers of Di-Hydrogen Monoxide, just less scientific lol.
Di-Hydrogen Monoxide, Di-Hydrogen Monoxide, Di-Hydrogen Monoxide. Why does that sound so familiar? I feel as if I know what that is. Eah, I'll think this over a sports bottle of water.
I think that's the invisable stuff that can make things float.
ghostgr
177th Field Artillery
+39|6956|In your head
skitzophrynicparanoia freak. Jeez that is nothing but a load of bs. well anyways still kinda funny at how stupid that is.
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+640|3934
So an update on my bread story. I went back to the Quick check to get a sandwich. I looked at the bread aisle. I smelled few loaves and they all had a funky smell. I took a load over to the cashier and had her smell the bread too. She confirmed the bread smelled weird.

I found the problem. Bread by Hostess just has a really bad smell. The Sara Lee bread smelled fine. I looked it up and apparently Hostess makes bad bread. Bread that smells so bad there are reddit memes about it.
https://i.redd.it/z83u9c5q8ba41.jpg
I have a homeless guy a dollar.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|6986|PNW

Hostess makes bread?
KEN-JENNINGS
I am all that is MOD!
+2,978|6846|949

Haha right?
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|6986|PNW

I can't believe Mac was all on a diet reform thing in recent months asking for advice on stuff, and then turns around to buy white bread made by the Twinkie people. What the heck.
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+640|3934

unnamednewbie13 wrote:

Hostess makes bread?
It is sold at Walgreens and Quick check. Gas station bread.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+640|3934

unnamednewbie13 wrote:

I can't believe Mac was all on a diet reform thing in recent months asking for advice on stuff, and then turns around to buy white bread made by the Twinkie people. What the heck.
I don't own a dishwasher. All of the cooking produced dishes and I hate doing dishes.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|6986|PNW

What is special about that designation, "gas station bread?" I'm pretty sure most of my local gas stations and all of my drug stores sell multigrain whole wheat. Same brands at grocery stores.
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|6986|PNW

SuperJail Warden wrote:

unnamednewbie13 wrote:

I can't believe Mac was all on a diet reform thing in recent months asking for advice on stuff, and then turns around to buy white bread made by the Twinkie people. What the heck.
I don't own a dishwasher. All of the cooking produced dishes and I hate doing dishes.
Was that not something you thought of? It's 2022, get a dishwasher already. Is NJ really that third world? You can get one on wheels if you can't install one by the sink.

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