cheshiremoe
Evil Geniuses for a sparsely populated tomorrow
+50|7021
Enjoy and/or cringe.

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason:

"Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!   I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman, KS.
______________________________________________________

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

He was a Chef?
Yep...From Kansas City!
__________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"

To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
_______________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.

She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
___________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.   She was leaving the company due to "downsizing."

Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."

Not another word was spoken.   We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was at Texas Instruments.
________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.
____________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!"

His reply, "I know - I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
_______________________________________________________

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE
Nessie09
I "fix" things
+107|6982|The Netherlands
All from America eh?
seymorebutts443
Ready for combat
+211|6907|Belchertown Massachusetts, USA
retarded layout but funny none the less, these are future darwin award or honerable mention winners
spawnofthemist
Banned
+1,128|6954|Burmecia, Land of the Rain
IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was on the bf2s.com forums one day, and someone posted an email with lots of amusing anecdotes in the same style as this. Needless to say I had to copy the style and make a complete idiot out of myself in the process!

This was at 22:12 GMT on http://forums.bf2s.com/viewtopic.php?id=34366
cheshiremoe
Evil Geniuses for a sparsely populated tomorrow
+50|7021

Nessie09 wrote:

All from America eh?
Yeah, but there are stupid people everywhere.  Your not safe!

oh, and some of them travel too.

Last edited by cheshiremoe (2006-07-11 14:13:39)

l41e
Member
+677|6960

Jesus. Every single fucking topic here turns into "AMERICA SUCKS".
Nessie09
I "fix" things
+107|6982|The Netherlands

k30dxedle wrote:

Jesus. Every single fucking topic here turns into "AMERICA SUCKS".
Ok I'm sorry...
Tripp
I wanna be on you
+116|6839|So Cal
Hereeeeeee's your sign....
Prodie
Moderator Emeritus
+270|7086|Nova Scotia, Canada

Can people just laugh at funny stuff like this anymore?

Any more country bashing in this thread will be deleted.
ATG
Banned
+5,233|6841|Global Command
Ya.
Go Prodiemoddy ftw!
Cybargs
Moderated
+2,285|7028

Prodie wrote:

Can people just laugh at funny stuff like this anymore?

Any more country bashing in this thread will be deleted.
i laughed :S
https://cache.www.gametracker.com/server_info/203.46.105.23:21300/b_350_20_692108_381007_FFFFFF_000000.png
alpinestar
Member
+304|6908|New York City baby.

k30dxedle wrote:

Jesus. Every single fucking topic here turns into "AMERICA SUCKS".
Well Im not anti-american or anything infact I live in NYC and love it, but my experience is that at least 70% of people that live here are either very stupid or act that way, i also get very aggrivated when I drive and see two fucking idiots driving 40 mph in both lanes (speed limit 65)next to each other creating traffic (just one example)

Last edited by alpinestar (2006-07-11 19:35:09)

spawnofthemist
Banned
+1,128|6954|Burmecia, Land of the Rain
if it makes any difference either way.. i love everyone

except atilla the hun.. but he's been dead for a LONG time now
Miller
IT'S MILLER TIME!
+271|7068|United States of America
There's always the Redneck vs. California drivers debate! I say both are equally as bad.  Trucks going faster in the slow lane than a mustang in the fast lane in redneck country, and lost drivers stopping to look at the lights in california.
cheshiremoe
Evil Geniuses for a sparsely populated tomorrow
+50|7021

Prodie wrote:

Can people just laugh at funny stuff like this anymore?

Any more country bashing in this thread will be deleted.
Thankyou!

And its not supposed to be a work of art, it just something I thought some of you guys would enjoy reading and I am to lazy to do anything more than copy and paste.
DaReJa
BF2s US Server Admin
+257|6939|Los Angeles, California, US.

cheshiremoe wrote:

Prodie wrote:

Can people just laugh at funny stuff like this anymore?

Any more country bashing in this thread will be deleted.
Thankyou!
Thanks. .

Miller wrote:

There's always the Redneck vs. California drivers debate! I say both are equally as bad.  Trucks going faster in the slow lane than a mustang in the fast lane in redneck country, and lost drivers stopping to look at the lights in california.
Yep. Lol.
Battlelog: DaReJa
MyBFi/BF3i Admin

AKA DanielRJ
GameSurge IRC Network, Support Agent and Staff
Phuzion IRC Network, Support Director and Operator
DoctorFruitloop
Level 13 Wrongdoer
+515|6858|Doncaster, UK
I laughed, thanks for the post.
cheshiremoe
Evil Geniuses for a sparsely populated tomorrow
+50|7021

Miller wrote:

There's always the Redneck vs. California drivers debate! I say both are equally as bad.  Trucks going faster in the slow lane than a mustang in the fast lane in redneck country, and lost drivers stopping to look at the lights in california.
I lived in northern California for a while so I know what you mean, but when I moved cross country I learned there are stupid/bad drivers everywhere.  In some places they do seem to congregate.  Teenagers and the elderly should not be allowed to drive sports cars (unfortunately I am prejudice against Old people).
ShotYourSix
Boldly going nowhere...
+196|7031|Las Vegas

cheshiremoe wrote:

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE
...not necessarily
http://www.darwinawards.com/
1927
The oldest chav in the world
+2,423|6985|Cardiff, Capital of Wales
A couple of beauties I have read or heard over the years.

A woman complaining to her IT dept saying how her drinks holder wouldnt open anymore, upon investigation the IT dept discovered her cd drawer had broken.

A young lad of about 15/16 on work experience in London.  First day and lunch break arrives, boss hands him £20 and says go and get a sandwhich and get something for yourself.  Lad returns about an hour later, his boss going nuts, "where you been etc etc, Im starving and dinners over".  Young lad has a large smile on his face, hands the boss his sandwhich, all the workforce come to boss office to be handed there sarnies, all looking at young lad.  He turns to walk away when the boss asks "ummm where the rest"?  It turns out he was confused and had bought the bosses sarnie then gone into burtons and picked up a £15 sweater.  When the boss said get something for yourself he thought the boss ment, "anything".

I could quote a load of stuff ex girlfriends or even my step daughter has come out with before now.
SkoobyDu
'CLICK JOIN NOW'... OK lets go... BOOM!!!! =FFS=
+120|6873|Cheshire, UK
Ok...

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah.
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one.

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry...

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male Customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah.................... thank you.

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P"... on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!
cheshiremoe
Evil Geniuses for a sparsely populated tomorrow
+50|7021

ShotYourSix wrote:

cheshiremoe wrote:

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE
...not necessarily
http://www.darwinawards.com/
Unfortunately, I think that modern medical science is keeping too many of them alive and a lot of stupid people breed like rabbits.
Sgt_Bob05
Nade Spammers Must Die
+49|7013|Australia

spawnofthemist wrote:

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was on the bf2s.com forums one day, and someone posted an email with lots of amusing anecdotes in the same style as this. Needless to say I had to copy the style and make a complete idiot out of myself in the process!

This was at 22:12 GMT on http://forums.bf2s.com/viewtopic.php?id=34366
*shudders* That was a fucking bad joke and a worse payout.
kr@cker
Bringin' Sexy Back!
+581|6861|Southeastern USA
IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.

that one actually happened to me, a lady in the cube farm I was passing through asked if I knew why some of her lights weren't on I got under her desk expecting a tripped breaker since she had way too many things plugged in (including a space heater, the idiot) and found the same, don't worry, she's only repair logistics for the F-15 Eagle


as for the driving thing, my old job kept me driving through 8 states, and it's the same everywhere, in the city or out in the sticks, if you're not passing anyone then move one lane to the right, repeat, when you do it's signal-mirror-lane change

Last edited by kr@cker (2006-07-12 07:42:28)

cheshiremoe
Evil Geniuses for a sparsely populated tomorrow
+50|7021

kr@cker wrote:

...

that one actually happened to me, a lady in the cube farm I was passing through asked if I knew why some of her lights weren't on I got under her desk expecting a tripped breaker since she had way too many things plugged in (including a space heater, the idiot) and found the same, don't worry, she's only repair logistics for the F-15 Eagle

as for the driving thing, my old job kept me driving through 8 states, and it's the same everywhere, in the city or out in the sticks, if you're not passing anyone then move one lane to the right, repeat, when you do it's signal-mirror-lane change
I am glad most of my co-workers know how to save a file and that I have never had to man a tech support help line. 

For California and other places with lots of traffic if you signal nobody will let you change lanes... so you get the courtesy signal to let you know that they just cut you off.

Last edited by cheshiremoe (2006-07-12 08:23:48)

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