I screwed up big time.

2006-06-12 08:42:39

#51

Jinto-sk: Laid Back Yorkshireman; +183|6899|Scarborough Yorkshire England

Reading these reminded me of this one

Doin yoga at 6th form (loads of birds did it) there was a position where you lay on your back and put your feet in the air then towards your head, one lass (who I shall not name) poor thing just let rip and it echo'ed around the gym. I tried not to laugh but couldn't help it, soon the whole hall was in hystrerics and the lass ran from the gym. She swore she would never do yoga again, I used to tease her about it and a few weeks later she saw the funny side of it and returned to class

2006-06-12 11:14:00

#52

Pop To Ster: Philosiraptor; +45|6840|Edmonds, WA

Lol heres another one of mine i remembered. Whenever I was at my cousins house for the summer, we would be watching tv. Well, it just so happened that i had to freakin' explode one of them from my butt. Well, i thought it would just be a waste to let it go on the sofa, so I move up to my cousin, but my butt to his face and let er' RIP!

2006-06-12 11:19:07

#53

Nabraham: EWWW!!! Thats Nasty!!!; +18|6992|Enon

+1 for you, i laughed pretty hard.

2006-06-12 11:36:50

#54

INCSOC: Member since 1984; +113|6987|Denver, CO

lol man this made me laugh so hard, here's a nasty one i remembe

I was about 13 at the time. My mom gave me some cottage cheeze with sour cream for breakfast and i went to school. Everything was fine the whole day, but when it was time to go home I kinda started feeling queezy. I lived about 3 miles from school and walked home. So i'm running home and i really started to feel like I need to take a dump, I'm trying to squeeze my ass together while running. About half way through i just can't hold it anymore and i just let if fucking go. WHROOOOSH right into the fucking pants. Then.... the fucking smell hit me... HOOOOLY SHIT! It's like a baby that shit itself, died and rotted in it's own shit for a fucking month. I started running again cuz if i hesitate and slow down the smell gets to me and start gagging. So i'm running with my pants full of shit and it starting to run down my legs into my shoes. As soon as i made it home i ran straight into the bathroom, jumped into the shower fully dressed. But not soon enough before the smell overcame me and i threw up. So here i was all covered in shit and vomit standing in my shower... i'll never forget this day

2006-06-12 11:50:12

#55

darad0: Member; +40|6929|Centreville, VA

thats so disgusting, rofl

2006-06-12 11:50:36

#56

Poncho: and I'm not a raincoat...; +91|7015|NL

INCSOC wrote:
lol man this made me laugh so hard, here's a nasty one i remembe

.....

lol, i know the feeling.... "I won't fcking make itttttttt....."

2006-06-12 11:53:00

#57

mr.widdim: The Second Apostle Of Chuy; +78|7013|Flaming_Maniac = pwnd.

Fancy_Pollux wrote:
A mere Shadow|= wrote:
LOL!!

I let one go by accident in a exam. bloody thing echoed, i swear to God a tiny part of my soul died...
What do you mean by "bloody"?

Fancy_Pollux has bloody poop after he goes to his "girlfriend's house" aka The male whore-house... Lola Anyone?

2006-06-12 11:57:23

#58

[RaWr]-Impsux: Have Guns, Will Travel.; +28|6865

mr.widdim wrote:
Fancy_Pollux wrote:
A mere Shadow|= wrote:
LOL!!

I let one go by accident in a exam. bloody thing echoed, i swear to God a tiny part of my soul died...
What do you mean by "bloody"?
Fancy_Pollux has bloody poop after he goes to his "girlfriend's house" aka The male whore-house... Lola Anyone?

You killed it.

2006-06-12 14:53:03

#59

mr.widdim: The Second Apostle Of Chuy; +78|7013|Flaming_Maniac = pwnd.

[RaWr]-Impsux wrote:
You killed it.

Meh... find a life outside the internet.

2006-06-12 15:05:44

#60

RustyNails: BF2s US Server Admin; +31|6927|Margaritaville via Austin

OMFG....back in school we were having a co-ed volleyball tourney. My line mate set me up perfectly but this girl behind me decided she wanted to go for the spike too. I went up and just as i grunted my hand to the ball I let one rip that I swear had to have parted her hair for her. I got the point because it echoed through the gym and everyone about fell over laughing...but i don't think that she ever spoke to me again.

2006-06-12 15:08:15

#61

Pop To Ster: Philosiraptor; +45|6840|Edmonds, WA

RustyNails wrote:
OMFG....back in school we were having a co-ed volleyball tourney. My line mate set me up perfectly but this girl behind me decided she wanted to go for the spike too. I went up and just as i grunted my hand to the ball I let one rip that I swear had to have parted her hair for her. I got the point because it echoed through the gym and everyone about fell over laughing...but i don't think that she ever spoke to me again.

ROFL!!!!! +1!!!

2006-06-12 16:34:02

#62

=W=GeneralSherman: Banned; +83|6865

.

Last edited by =W=GeneralSherman (2006-06-12 16:35:50)

2006-06-12 16:38:09

#63

=W=GeneralSherman: Banned; +83|6865

G3|Genius wrote:
fuschweet.

my worst fart was on a retreat, during a meditation. We were all sitting on the church floor, which is concrete, with your typical very short carpeting on it. I thought it was going to be an SBD (silent but deadly), but the hard floor made my cheeks flap. The whole chapel reverberated with my fart, and all meditation was lost for the next few minutes. it was the most embarrassing ever.

amen

2006-06-12 16:49:49

#64

King_County_Downy: shitfaced; +2,791|6905|Seattle

I've shit my pants while driving back to work on lunch one day. I thought it was a fart. I lived about an hour away from my house so I had to sit in the whole way home. My car seat still has a stain. I told my work I spilled my lunch in my lap. What suckers.

Reminds me of a poem I saw on a bathroom wall:

Here I sit all broken hearted, tried to shit but only farted.
So I thought I'd take a chance, tried to fart and shit my pants.

Sober enough to know what I'm doing, drunk enough to really enjoy doing it

2006-06-12 16:51:21

#65

PitViper401: The Magnetic Bullet Attractor; +31|7007|Illinois

I didn't think it was possible, but this thread actually has me in real tears I'm laughing so hard

2006-06-12 16:53:36

#66

-=]DeatH1337[=-: Member; +51|6942|England

Cougar wrote:
(EUS)Gen.BadSnipaDay wrote:
Sucks sitting next to a girl you like, trying to maintain a conversation and hold in that giant fart that wants to squeze its way out your ass, anyone feel me?
The ones you hold in but a little bit eeks out without a sound, so you sit there for about 30 seconds wondering if it realld DID come out or not. Then you smell it and it's awful, but you can tell it hasn't reached her yet, so you start taking really deep breaths trying to suck it all up before it hits her but it's not working. Then it hits her and you know it did because she is obviosly trying to pretend like she can't smell it but you both know she can and you become so embarrassed that you can't control your asshole muscles anymore and an even bigger fart comes out and then you both have the ackward "Well I'll see ya later then" moment.

Those are the worst.

ROFLMAO +1

2006-06-12 16:54:50

#67

gburndred: tiga tiga tiga tiga tiga woods ya'll; +95|6947|Calgary,AB,Canada

I farted in class and it smelled really bad.
So whenever people asked me who did it i just blamed it on the kid that nobody liked and that had a unibrow

2006-06-12 16:58:33

#68

{BMF}*Frank_The_Tank: U.S. > Iran; +497|6886|Florida

very funny my friend. In 6th grade i did that sort of thing. Our class was in this stupid reading session with the librarian, and the steps/floor we were sitting on were hollow underneath, and a friend made me laugh and the laugh forced it out, which of course with it echoing in the hollowness of the floor, it was stupid loud. It was awesome. Class got a good laugh, and it just pissed the librarian off lol

2006-06-12 17:03:57

#69

scottomus0: Teh forum ghey!; +172|6945|Wigan. Manchester. England.

INCSOC wrote:
lol man this made me laugh so hard, here's a nasty one i remembe

I was about 13 at the time. My mom gave me some cottage cheeze with sour cream for breakfast and i went to school. Everything was fine the whole day, but when it was time to go home I kinda started feeling queezy. I lived about 3 miles from school and walked home. So i'm running home and i really started to feel like I need to take a dump, I'm trying to squeeze my ass together while running. About half way through i just can't hold it anymore and i just let if fucking go. WHROOOOSH right into the fucking pants. Then.... the fucking smell hit me... HOOOOLY SHIT! It's like a baby that shit itself, died and rotted in it's own shit for a fucking month. I started running again cuz if i hesitate and slow down the smell gets to me and start gagging. So i'm running with my pants full of shit and it starting to run down my legs into my shoes. As soon as i made it home i ran straight into the bathroom, jumped into the shower fully dressed. But not soon enough before the smell overcame me and i threw up. So here i was all covered in shit and vomit standing in my shower... i'll never forget this day

LMFAO!!!!!!!

2006-06-12 17:04:36

#70

-=]DeatH1337[=-: Member; +51|6942|England

The class was reading in English when i was back at school, when i all of a sudden sneezed so hard i let the loudest fart out ever. My teacher said to me, and ill never forget "is that your contribution then Mark?" Of course my reply was simply "yep."

2006-06-12 17:04:59

#71

scottomus0: Teh forum ghey!; +172|6945|Wigan. Manchester. England.

RustyNails wrote:
OMFG....back in school we were having a co-ed volleyball tourney. My line mate set me up perfectly but this girl behind me decided she wanted to go for the spike too. I went up and just as i grunted my hand to the ball I let one rip that I swear had to have parted her hair for her. I got the point because it echoed through the gym and everyone about fell over laughing...but i don't think that she ever spoke to me again.

ROFL

ahhh im gona shit laughing haha

2006-06-12 17:06:36

#72

Pop To Ster: Philosiraptor; +45|6840|Edmonds, WA

Lmaoroflololololol +1

Last edited by Pop To Ster (2006-06-12 17:06:56)

2006-06-12 17:25:36

#73

gburndred: tiga tiga tiga tiga tiga woods ya'll; +95|6947|Calgary,AB,Canada

One lovely morning in 4th grade i decided to have breakfast (never really eat it because i get sick normally, not clue why)
So as im walking into 3rd period class, my stomach grumbles.I farted and thought everything was ok.
45 min later i realized that i have to take a shit (watery kind,ocassional chunky). So as i walk into the bathroom which is right next to the schoolboard meeting i get in,pull my pants down, THEN SPLASH.
Backsplash hits my ass cheeks.As i look down, i realized that when i farted before, i shit my pants.
But the day wasn't over.Still about 3 classes left.I sat in the bathroom for about 50 min thinking of what to do or say.Then it came to me. I WAS FUCKED. I had to borrow the schools pants that they carry.And put my other ones in a garbage bag that i carryed around.

NEVER GONNA EAT BREAKFAST AGAIN

2006-06-12 17:30:35

#74

{BMF}*Frank_The_Tank: U.S. > Iran; +497|6886|Florida

i dont blame ya buddy lol

2006-06-13 08:21:43

#75

INCSOC: Member since 1984; +113|6987|Denver, CO

i told my brother about this thread and he wanted to contribute too

Brother wrote:
I just got out of gym where we were running 20 laps around the school, so needless to say I felt like crap. The next class was literature test and as soon as I sat down at my desk i knew it was going to be a very painful period. My stomach was tying up in knots and shit was forcing itself out of my exhausted body. About 15 minutes into the class, I feel so jacked up I don't know what to do anymore. I can hardly restrain blowing the whole load right over the girl behind me. Sweat is pouring down my forehead, I'm squeezing my cheeks so hard that gas is constantly forcing itself back into my stomach. Once in a while I try and let a small portion of it out but the smell is so foul i'm afraid that anymore and people will say something. The shit is so close that even if I bend an inch it's all gonna go in a fantastic blast. Finally I just can't take it anymore and i pick up my test, slowly stand up approach the teacher and tell her that I REALLY have to go. She gives me a pass and says go ahead, you don't look too good. No kidding, at that time I was feeling like I had a shit mutant trying to claw his way out of my ass. I try to run to the bathroom without unsqueezing my cheeks. Finally I stumble into the bathroom stall like a retard, the seat is fucking filthy. Having little time to improvize, I just pull my pants down, turn around and aim for the general direction of the toilet. mmmmmmmmm the shit monster is free at last. I slowly turn around, hesitant to see the fruits of my labor. Ohhhh myyyyy gooooood. The seat... the entire toilet.... the flush tank... the entire stall wall behind the toilet... half the side wall... ALL COVERED WITH SHIT!!

BF2S Forums I screwed up big time.

INCSOC wrote:

Fancy_Pollux wrote:

A mere Shadow|= wrote:

mr.widdim wrote:

Fancy_Pollux wrote:

A mere Shadow|= wrote:

[RaWr]-Impsux wrote:

RustyNails wrote:

G3|Genius wrote:

Cougar wrote:

(EUS)Gen.BadSnipaDay wrote:

INCSOC wrote:

RustyNails wrote:

Brother wrote:

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